Familylife goes on
by o2bafirefighter
Summary: This is a continuation of "Family". Tony is torn up by the teams behavior towards him since the mission with Jean. Gibbs tries to set things straight but what happens when anger is all he has left for his team.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own the characters or the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment and not for profit.

This is my first NCIS story. It came about after watching the episode "Family". I hope you enjoy it. Some OOC behavior.

****************NCIS****************

"_Family…life goes on."_

****************NCIS****************

Tony knew Gibbs was punishing him. Calling the marks to tell them maybe Heidi really had loved them all the while trying to get information out of them. Ziva and McGee thought it was just. They hated that Tony had lied to them for so long. They despised the fact that he had been able to fool them even though they were trained investigators. They felt used, betrayed, and worse yet they felt foolish.

Ziva had always thought she was superior to the former cop. He was an American after all and that made him weak. He was childish and uneducated as far as she was concerned. The fact that this child had been able to fool her infuriated her.

Tim had also never considered Tony to be very bright. He was obviously Tony's intellectual superior. After all, Tony graduated with a PE degree while _he_ was an MIT graduate. But he understood Tony had been doing investigations longer. The problem for Tim was that as time had gone on he had thought he had learned all there was to learn from Tony. In fact, he felt he had surpassed Tony long ago. Now, that had changed. He didn't like to admit that a PE major was able to outwit and fool him for so long.

And then there was Gibbs…He was angry, pure and simple.

For each, their feelings were kept pent up and the only outlet was to put Tony down. Each felt the need to put Tony back in his place where he belonged. They considered them selves trained observers but they didn't see what was happening to him because of Jean or at their own hands. Essentially they ignored him when they weren't taunting him. However, as the case continued they couldn't help but see other things. They didn't like what they saw but still blamed it all on Tony.

****************NCIS****************

Tony stood still staring at the crib. His thoughts were a lifetime away. Ziva watched him for a moment. Nevertheless, when she approached he wagged a finger and said, "Don't". She wasn't sure what he was thinking but she knew it had nothing to do with the case. For his part he wasn't in the mood for any of the hateful things he imagined she may want to impart upon him.

When they returned to the office McGee watched as Tony went stoned face staring at the pictures on the screen. Like Ziva, he knew it had nothing to do with the case. God help him he wanted to get Tony to talk and break the silence. Of course he chose the wrong thing to say when he asked what it was like to fake a second life. He knew as soon as the words left his mouth he had just buried any possibility of Tony speaking to him. The look of pain on Tony's face was evidence of the insensitivity he had shown. Quickly the look passed, had he blinked he may not have even of seen it. This only served to irritate Tim more as he watched the veil fall over Tony's emotions and realized he couldn't interpret what Tony thought or felt. It was unnerving to him.

Tony needed a minute to himself. He couldn't stand to be in the presence of his _friends _for one more moment. But there was nowhere to go. He went to the head assuming he wouldn't be followed. But he was wrong, first Ziva came to explain how stupid he was for falling for Jean. Shortly after, she was followed by McGee. He felt like he was standing in the middle of Grand Central Station. _I don't want to deal with them right now. I need a minute to myself. CAn't they even try to understand. Can't they give me the courtesy of just one moment of peace and quiet?_

****************NCIS****************

The walls were closing in on him. He couldn't catch a break. Everyone was mad and punishing him for doing his job. For doing what he was ordered to do by a superior. Gibbs continued to enjoy the fact that he had to talk to Heidi's marks. McGee was pissed but decided to be blunt, he wanted to hurt Tony. Then there was Ziva, determined to make Tony pay. She hated being lied to. She hated seeing Tony be so stupid as to fall in love with a mark. After all that's all Jean was… wasn't she?

Tony thought about his friends and about how they reacted to the case. He thought about how they had reacted when he had returned from 'being blown up'. They seemed happy he was alive but apparently that was just so they could torture him. If only Sheppard hadn't given him this assignment. If only he hadn't fallen in love. He needed to hold it together for a little while longer. He needed to reunite the baby with its parents. He needed to accomplish something. Maybe then they would lay off of him.

****************NCIS****************

The case was finally over. Each team member was writing his or her reports. Tony was being quiet. Too quiet. His thoughts were wrapped around how his team was treating him. He couldn't get over how quickly they had turned on him. It wasn't his choice, none of it was.

McGee decided to try to one up Tony… again. All thoughts of Tony's earlier reaction gone, Tim wanted to hurt Tony one more time. Only this time he wanted witnesses to his superiority. He wanted Tony to know he was wrong. "So Tony, you never did answer my question." He leered, as Tony seemed pulled from his thoughts.

"What question was that McVirgin?"

"Well, what was it like to lead a double life and to lie to everyone? I guess you could really identify with Heidi, huh?" McGee sat back with a smug smile on his face. He had just gotten Tony for himself and the whole team.

Tony looked around. He saw the smug look on McGee's face. He saw it mirrored on Ziva's face. He got up and left. He couldn't do this.

Heading to the elevator, he heard Gibbs call his name but he could not face him. He couldn't see the disappointment in his face any more. He couldn't stand the idea that Gibbs of all people agreed with what Tim had said. Gibbs knew better…didn't he? He hit the button and was glad to see the door open immediately. Quickly he hit the door close button. He didn't want to risk being trapped in the elevator with Gibbs.

They didn't trust him anymore. They had all made that abundantly clear when he tried to leave for his dentist appointment. He couldn't do this anymore. The doors opened in the garage and he made his way to his car. He wasn't paying attention to his surroundings. His mind was too cluttered with the events of the case, his team, his boss and Jean. He knew better than to be this distracted. But he felt safe on the Navy grounds.

He had just put the key in the car door when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Without thinking he grabbed the hand, threw the person up against the car and had his gun drawn and cocked.

****************NCIS****************

"Gibbs." Gibbs answered the phone. Ziva and Tim tried to get an idea of what was happening. They had thought it was funny. In their eyes Tony had deserved it. That was until they saw the look on Tony's face. For as much as they wanted to make him pay, they hadn't felt like they could hurt him. Tony was an immature brat and never allowed anything to change his behavior. "Where is he? … He WHAT?! … Did you tell him I wanted you to stop him … No I think you've done enough." Gibbs slammed down the phone.

**** TBC *****


	2. Chapter 2

******************NCIS******************

**(What happened in the garage - - - )**

"**Agent DiNozzo…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Agent Gibbs told me to stop you from leaving." The security guard rambled on trying to explain his actions. He hadn't meant to sneak up on the agent. He had called out to him several times with no answer. Now he wished he had not caught up with him. He'd known DiNozzo for years. However, he'd never seen him like this before. **

**DiNozzo hadn't lowered the gun. He didn't even look like he had been listening. Slowly, Tony lowered his gun. He pushed the guard off his car without saying a word. There was no way he was staying where he was not wanted.**

**Starting the car, he adjusted the volume on the radio and then sped out of the garage. The guard tried to contact the gate to keep Tony from leaving but he wasn't fast enough.**

******************NCIS******************

**Abby was worried. She'd heard what had happened in the bullpen. Moreover, she'd heard about the incident in the garage. She had been angry with Tony as well. They had all been angry. First, they were angry to find out Tony had lied to them. Then their anger grew when they thought they'd almost lost him when the car exploded. But unlike the others she had understood he was under orders.**

**Over the past few months, she had seen the strain Tony had been under. She thought it was the result of Gibbs being hurt and then his leaving. She had known the strain he had been under taking over the team. She and Tony had talked about it some. Well, as much as Tony ever talked about anything.**

**It was after they'd talked that she observed how Tim and Ziva treated him. They were cold, demeaning, and disrespectful. She could not understand how they could be like that to him of all people. He tried hard to do the right thing. Nevertheless, in the end they had walked all over him. Eventually he had given up and did everything himself. He hadn't wanted anyone to get hurt. He didn't want to risk one of their lives.**

**Then Gibbs had returned. She knew about the promotion Tony had been offered. He turned it down because of how his friends had treated him. If he could not get respect and cooperation from people who knew him, how could he get it from strangers?**

**When he had returned to the bullpen to find all of his things in a box on his old desk, he said nothing. He put his things away but was cognizant of the other's reactions. He told Abby it had only confirmed he was not ready for his own team. **

**After what had happened with Jean, they talked again. He hadn't said much. He apologized for lying to her and said it had gotten out of hand. She knew he was hurting. Her big brother looked like he was exhausted physically and mentally. She couldn't understand why he had not been given some time off after working non-stop for months undercover. **

******************NCIS******************

**Tony didn't know where he was going. He just wanted to get away. He needed to get his head clear. The radio played loud enough so he couldn't hear the phone ring. He would not have answered if he had heard it.**

**The further away from the Navy Yard he traveled clarity and peace seemed to fill him. He looked down at the speedometer to realize he was doing 75 mph. Shaking his head, he slowed and began to pay attention to his surroundings.**

**It was none too soon as a deer jumped in front of his car. He tried to break with little success. In seconds, it was over. The deer lay crippled on the street. The car and Tony had gone over the edge.**

******************NCIS******************

**Abby had locked everyone out of the lab. She was mad as hell at all of them. Gibbs understood about following orders. Yet he was angry with Tony for doing what he, Gibbs, had taught him to do.**

**Three hours passed since Tony had left. He hadn't answered his phone. He wasn't home; Gibbs had sent Tim to check. She was worried.**

**She hadn't wanted to talk to any of them. Refusing to talk to any of them directly, she asked in general, "Have you heard from Tony?"**

**Tim was the first to respond. "No. He isn't home and he's not answering the phone."**

"**He is behaving like a child, no." Ziva had to add her two cents worth. Gibbs rolled his eyes, he knew Abby was about to blow and this could be it.**

"**Like a child?! What about all of you, you have done nothing but punish and antagonize him since you found out about his assignment. And…and…keep in mind it was an assignment. He didn't choose to lie to you, he was ordered. But you…McGee is mad because he wasn't chosen. Well guess what Timmy, you weren't and do you know why? Well, I'll tell you, because you aren't good enough undercover. Not like Tony. And Ziva, I don't know what your problem…but… but you know nothing. You aren't even in the same league as Tony. You and your Mossad training. Sure you can kill people without a second thought but what about caring for them…loving them. You two have done nothing but treat him like dirt since Gibbs got hurt."**

**Her fists were clinched at her sides. She turned to Gibbs, this was long over due. She should have said something before but she had hoped things would get better. They had only gotten worse.**

"**Of all the people around here… I never thought you would turn away from him. I never thought you would have allowed his teammates to treat him as they do. Do you know why the success rate of this team didn't go down while you took your little break?"**

**Gibbs had assumed it was because he had taught them well. As he looked at Abby, he suddenly thought there would be more to it than that.**

"**Well, news flash. It sure as heck wasn't because of boy wonder over there. Or the little ninja girl. It was because of Tony! Tony came in even earlier than he does now. He stayed later than anyone else. He filed the reports. He followed up on leads, without back up mind you. He did all of the leg work and the interviews. And why did he do this? It wasn't because he's stupid. He did it because they," she hitched her thumb toward Tim and Ziva, "they didn't lift a finger to help him. They under minded him every chance they got."**

**Gibbs looked at his two team members and realized Abby was telling the truth. They both looked at the floor with shame written all over their faces. They had hated having Tony in charge. They wanted Gibbs. Tony wasn't Gibbs. How many times had they each told him that? Before Gibbs could address what Abby had had to say, she continued.**

"**And then you came strolling back in here like nothing had changed. But it had and you either didn't notice or didn't care. You took the team over, boxed up his stuff and never even bothered to talk to him or even really take a good look at him."**

**Again, Gibbs knew she was right, he hadn't paid attention. On the surface, everything had looked all right. He knew better than to take it for granted, especially where Tony was concerned. Now his concern for Tony increased. He had neglected to see what was happening to his friend. What else had he neglected?**

"**Then when all of this stuff happened with Jean what did you do? You **_**blamed **_**him for following orders. You **_**punished **_**him for doing what you **_**taught **_**him, for what **_**you expected **_**of him. Hasn't he paid enough? Hasn't he been through enough? He loved her. Probably for the first time in his life, he was in love. You could have helped him but no; you trampled his heart, turned away from him and allowed them to be insensitive jerks to him. I never realized you were that kind of a man. I thought you were a just man. I guess I was wrong!"**

**The bull pen was quite as Abby turned to leave. She was crying. She hurt for her friend. She wanted him back safe and sound but she didn't know if he would ever return.**

"**You weren't wrong Abby." She could hear the anguish in his voice. "I didn't know about what had happened when I was gone. I didn't want to know. You were right Abby. About everything. We need to find him. I need to set things straight. Hopefully, it's not too late."**

**With a smile on her face, she turned back to look at Gibbs. "Now that's the Gibbs I know and love. I'll go see if I can trace his phone. Hopefully he hasn't turned it off."**

"**Get to it Abbs… We need to find him sooner rather than later."**

******************NCIS******************

"**Gibbs, I tracked him. He's about an hour from here. He isn't moving. Hasn't moved the whole time I've been tracking." She looked away from the computer screen and back at Gibbs. "Boss…there isn't anything there. No parks, stores… nothing."**

"**Get the LEO's on the way. Tell them we don't know what's happening. If it doesn't look like there's trouble tell them to keep an eye on him but not to approach." McGee quickly got to work.**

"**Ziva, get Ducky and tell him to bring his bag. I have a bad feeling about this." Ziva did as directed.**

"**Abby keep calling him. Maybe he'll answer your calls. Let me know if anything changes. I'm headed out there."**


	3. Chapter 3

****************NCIS****************

Tony awoke to pain. He tried to figure out where he was but couldn't. All he could see were trees. He tried the door but it wouldn't open. The trees had the car pinned. With the movement, he found new pain.

Deciding he needed to see what his injuries were, he took stock of himself. His vision was a little blurred and his eyes were burning. Probably from the air bag, he thought. His left wrist was broken and had a large bruise growing on the inside of his arm. Right arm seemed fine. He didn't seem to be having any difficulty breathing and for that, he was grateful. His left knee hurt. The same knee he had injured in college. _Great, now I can't even get out and walk away._

The car had died when he crashed. Now without the music blaring he was able to hear the phone. He snatched it out of his pocket just as the call was missed. 15 missed calls. He figured they were all from Abby. Then as he remembered pulling a gun on the guard, he figured at least one would be from Gibbs to tell him he was fired.

The phone rang again. He was trapped and in pain, even Gibbs would get him out before he fired him. With that thought in mind, he answered the phone.

****************NCIS****************

The LEO's weren't able to look for Tony. A large fire in a strip mall had all emergency responders tied up. Gibbs understood but it didn't help his disposition. He thought back over the months and realized how right Abby had been. He could now see what he had missed.

His first day back with the team, Tony hadn't looked well. He was thin, his suit hung loosely on him. Over the course of weeks, he had noticed the dark circles that seemed to be a permanent fix under his eyes. At the time, he had decided Tony had needed to quit being the frat boy he'd always been. He needed to be put in his place and brought back to doing his job. He had given Tony every crap thing to do to keep him busy and try to get him focused on work.

"Tony, if I had known…If I had only known. You could have told me. But I understand better now. You weren't partying too much. You were working yourself to death. Jenny should never have made you do that. You're the best we've got when it comes to undercover work but it takes its roll. You didn't have any down time. Hiding from us… hoping not to be found out. You needed to be able to release and what did I do… make it tougher on you."

He thought back to all of the things he had said. When he had returned he wanted things to go back to being as normal as possible. He hadn't wanted to talk about Mexico and what had driven him there. Losing Shannon and Kelly for a second time had sent him over the edge. Not having memories of the years between had just about killed him. He knew he had learned to live without them but the idea was foreign to him. Being around all of these people, his friends who knew more about him than he knew himself had bothered him. They knew who he was, what he liked and how he behaved.

Tony had been good about it. But the rest of them… He felt like a fish in a bowl. They were always watching him. He had wanted to get back to his life; to being their friend, boss or whatever… he wanted to be accepted by them. As a result, he'd turned away from the one person who hadn't judged him or made him feel as if something were wrong with him. Not only had he turned away from him, he'd turned against him and joined them in teasing and punishing him after Jean.

"He was doing his job. The job I taught him to do. Following orders. I may not like it but he'd did it. The only one to blame for Tony lying to me was Jenny. Jenny had made him lie and work without any back up for months. She knew what that could do to a person and did it anyway. But who had paid the price. Tony!" Gibbs pounded the steering wheel again. He needed to find Tony. He needed to set things right. This time he was going to protect Tony from himself.

****************NCIS****************

Abby rang the phone again. She prayed Tony would answer it. He still hadn't moved but at least she knew he hadn't turned off his phone. There was hope. The phone stopped ringing. She could tell he'd picked it up. However, he wasn't talking. She had it on speakerphone. She began recording, just in case.

"Tony…Tony are you there?"

"Abbs?" The pain and strain in his voice was clear.

"Yeah Tony it's me. Are you okay 'cause you don't sound okay." She hoped he wouldn't downplay what was happening.

While Tony was trying to decide how to answer her, Abby patched through the call to Gibbs and Ducky. Ducky had brought his van. He believed in being prepared. Gibbs would want time with Tony without an audience. Ducky knew he would need his own ride home.

"Gibbs" "This is Dr. Mallard."

Quickly she hit the mute button on Tony and got Gibbs and Ducky up to speed. She conference called all of them so they could hear what was happening.

"Tony are you still there?"

"Yeah, Abbs I'm still here. Abby? I don't know where I am." He sounded tired.

"That's okay Tony. Help is on the way. Gibbs and Ducky should be there soon. Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He gave a small sad chuckle. "I don't think I have enough battery life to tell you what all is wrong." He shook his head and wiped the blood out of his eyes. "I'll just stick to what's wrong at this minute. I guess I've had an accident. I'm stuck in the car…there's nothing but trees around. I…I can't get the door open to get out because of the trees."

"Tony, I've got Ducky on the line. He's headed towards you. Can you tell me if you're hurt?"

"Yes. My left side." He paused taking a deep breath, which made him cough because of the dust from the airbag. They all grew more concerned.

"Tony?!"

"It's okay Abby. Just the dust getting to me. Sorry? Where was I?"

"Your left side. What's wrong with your left side?"

"Banged it up pretty good. Nothing major. I'm breathing okay except for the dust. Ducky are you there?"

"Yes Anthony. Can you give me a report of your injuries so I can be prepared?" Ducky was concerned. The fact that Tony was asking for him caused him to worry more.

"Sure Duck. Hit my head on something, have a cut on my forehead that's still bleeding. Keeps dripping into my eye. Left wrist looks bad, probably broken. And… and… Duck it's my knee. God it hurts like hell."

"Hang in there Anthony. I should be there in about 10 minutes. Jethro should be there any moment. Just sit tight."

"Okay Duck. I think Gibbs is here. I hear tires screeching. I'm gonna hang up now. Thanks Abbs, you've been a great friend." Before anyone could respond, the line went dead.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs pulled to a screeching halt, a deer laid dead on the road. The guardrail was broke and below he could make out the tail end of Tony's car.

"I've got him. He's about 30 yards off the road. I'm headed down. Be careful Ducky, I'll see you when you get here. Abby see if we can get a helo here. He needs to be at Bethesda."

"Will do Gibbs. Good luck…and be nice to him." She hung up as soon as she had replied. Time was a wasting. No one knew how long Tony had been down there. He needed medical attention.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs made his way down the hillside to the car. Trees circled the front of the car pining the doors shut. He was trying to figure a way in. The only way was through the back window. "Tony, can you hear me?"

"Yeah Boss." His voice sounded tired and strained.

"I'm going to break out the back window. Cover your eyes. I'll be in there in a second."

True to his word, Gibbs was in the car and beside Tony within seconds. "Boss?" Tony sounded uneasy. Gibbs wasn't sure if it all was from the accident or not. But he figured it was more than just the accident.

"Easy Tony. Let me help you. I'm just going to take a look, okay?" Tony nodded his approval. Flipping open his phone, Gibbs dialed Ducky. After calling Ducky with an update, Gibbs settled in to wait. He took his handkerchief out and tried to stop the bleeding from the cut on Tony's head. "Just keep your eyes closed. Ducky will be here soon and we'll get you out of here."

Tony grunted his reply as Gibbs put more pressure on his head. His head hurt and the added pressure was almost unbearable. He couldn't hold back his pain filled groan.

"Sorry Tony. I know it hurts just hold still. Ducky will be here any minute." Tony could hear the sorrow in Gibbs voice. He just wasn't certain why it was there. The added pain increased his feeling of nausea. He started to breathe faster. The thought of vomiting in front of Gibbs was never appealing. However, with everything else that had been going on he didn't figure he could disappoint his boss any more than he already was.

Gibbs picked up quickly on the change in Tony's breathing pattern and the slightly greenish tint to his skin tone. There was nowhere to go to get away from the smell if Tony puked. From experience, he knew Tony couldn't handle the smell of his own vomit. It always amazed him how Tony could walk through a gruesome scene without even becoming queasy or even how he could deal with some one else getting sick and it didn't affect him. But…it was like a light bulb going on in the dark, the realization struck so hard. Tony didn't get sick at any of those other things but it was a different story if it was his own. Gibbs would have smacked himself in the head if his hands were full of Tony's head. This was another one of those bastard father things. Suddenly it all made sense….well at least why Tony got sick and upset.

"Easy Tony. Slow your breathing down. Try to match my breathing." He pulled Tony's right hand and put it against his chest. "Nice and easy." He waited a few moments as Tony slowed his breathing down. His color improved but little else had changed, Tony was still being silent. Very un-DiNozzo. "Better?" Tony nodded. "Are you still nauseated?" Again, Tony nodded. He didn't want to risk speaking. He was afraid he would say something he would regret later.

****************NCIS****************

Ducky approached the car and found Tony and Gibbs in the front seat. Tony still held his hand against Gibbs chest. Ducky could tell by his coloring he was nauseous. "Anthony, my boy, how are you doing?"

"Been better…been worse."

"Jethro Why don't you and I switch places. I'll check on Anthony while you figure a way out of here. Abigail called; the helo can land 1 mile south of here. But we need to get him there."

"Ok Ducky. He was right on target for his injuries. He hasn't said much of anything." Gibbs removed the hand from his chest and put it to Tony's head. "Hold that there while Ducky and I switch places." After doing so he removed the keys from the ignition and pulled the parking break."

****************NCIS****************

Switching places was the easy part. Figuring a way to get Tony out of the car was harder. Gibbs began breaking branches off or smothering them down to get to the car door. It only took 10 minutes but it had seemed like hours. Finally able to open the door, Gibbs looked inside to see how they were progressing.

"Jethro, I have Anthony's wrist splinted but I have nothing to splint his knee. I don't believe it to be broken but it would be impossible for him to bare weight on it."

"That's okay Duck. I'll carry him up the hill. You just keep behind me." He looked to his still silent Senior Agent, "Tony? You with me?"

"Ye…Yeah, Boss?"

Gibbs frowned at the uncertainty and pain filled response. "Tony. I need you to help me out here." Tony nodded; Gibbs was starting to hate the silent responses. If Tony was talking, he could gauge how he was doing. But silence left to way too much interpretation. "Okay, here's what we need to do. I need to get you turned so you can wrap your right arm around my neck."

The process was slow and painful but eventually they were able to get Tony turned. Gibbs braced himself to pick up his friend. He knew Tony out weighed him by 25-35 lbs. However, as he reached around to grab him he was struck by just how thin Tony had become. Gibbs was struck yet again, by how unobservant he had been as of late. Tony probably weighed less than he did. _Oh my God. When this is over, we are going to have a serious talk. How could I have been so wrong? He's been working himself to death, literally. I wonder when was the last time he ate a decent meal?_

Gibbs again felt the need to hit himself in the back of the head. Not only had he missed this but also apparently so had everyone else. The trek up the hill wasn't easy but it could have been worse. Tony remained silent and stoic. Ducky had the gurney prepared with blankets to make it more comfortable.

Ducky prepared him for the trip to the helo. When he finished, Gibbs pulled him to the side out of Tony's earshot. "Duck, how long has he been like this?" Ducky could see and hear the torment Gibbs was putting himself through but wasn't willing to try to comfort him.

"There's no real way to determine the time of the accident. I could autopsy the deer but even then it wouldn't tell us the exact…" Ducky never finished as Gibbs had repeatedly called his name.

"Not the accident, Duck, the weight loss. He's got to be at lease 10 lbs lighter than me."

"Well Jethro I don't know. He hasn't been in to see me in months. Asides from a case that is. I had noticed his suits looked a little baggy the other day but I didn't think much of it. Then he was in casual clothes and who could tell anything with as baggy as kids wear their clothes these days."

"Duck this didn't just happen. Check into it and let me know. If there is anything else wrong with him I want to know. I don't want you telling anyone else? Do you understand? Me and only me got it!" He cut off any reply Ducky might have had by turning back to Tony. "Tony, we're going to get you to a hospital now. Just take it easy. Ducky says you are going to be alright." _Thank God for small favors. Now, I have a reprieve. I have time to find out what has been going on here for the past 6 months. And to get my head out of my …_

Ducky pulled away and headed to meet the helo. Tony mercifully was unconscious for the trip.


	4. Chapter 4

******************NCIS******************

**2 Hours Later**

**Ducky found himself sitting in a "Family Room" at Bethesda. He had called him on his way and told him to make the arrangements. Gibbs had called McGee and Ziva. His final call was to Abby. When each had arrived, they had been escorted to the "Family Room." Abby presented Gibbs with the folder of information he had requested her to get. He was going to get a handle on what had been going on with his team. No one dared move as he entered the room. The scowl on his face hid his true level of anger. McGee and Ziva sat up a little straighter waiting for the other shoe to fall. Each was concerned for Tony in their own way.**

"**You are to remain in this room until I return. Any questions?"**

**Ziva didn't understand rhetorical questions and didn't have the decency to understand what was happening. "Do we have another case?"**

**Gibbs looked at her with disgust. The woman truly had no heart, no compassion for her fellow teammates or the victims of the crimes they investigated. Without answering, he turned and left the room slamming the door as he went.**

******************NCIS******************

**Tony was in surgery to have his wrist reduced. His knee was sprained but thankfully, that was all. He had a mild concussion and had needed six stitches in his head. Dr. Sym had been instructed to notify Agent Gibbs with updates. As his next of kin, Gibbs would need to know what was going on and make any decisions that came up.**

******************NCIS******************

**Sitting in the recovery room waiting for Tony to return, Gibbs made the best of his time by going through the file Abby had quickly compiled for him. It read like a recipe for a disaster. For the past 6 months, Tony had averaged 90 to 100 hours per week. Abby had pulled his personal log to get this information. It read at times like a diary. Each day accounted for his activities both on and off duty. Occasionally he commented on how he was feeling physically, psychologically and professionally.**

**Tues the 25****th**

**0430 - couldn't sleep - too much to do. Going for a run**

**0545 - 10 miles - have to stay in shape - need to relax**

**0630 - left for office - have interview on the Anteed case starting 9**

**0700 - It's only been a month but now I know why Gibbs drank so much coffee. Have to finish the Turley Case paperwork. The Director wants the reports by 9.**

**0815 - McGee arrived. Reports are finished and have been sent to the director**

**0845 - Ziva arrived. Tim is supposed to be pulling the surveillance tapes on the Toraid case. Ziva is going with him to interview the officers who first arrived on scene.**

**0900 - Mrs. Anteed was brought to interrogation 1. Since no one was available, I have set up to video tape and voice recorder for the interview.**

**1130 - Duck, Palmer and I are headed to the woods behind Mrs. Anteed's mother's house. Lt. Anteed was buried there by his wife.**

**1630 - Returned to office. Ducky and Palmer have initial findings (see file). Photos and sketches complete and filed. Tim and Ziva checked out at 1600. Surveillance tapes had been pulled - no reports. Jeans working night shift - called her at 1600 on drive back. Meeting her 2200 Shays for dinner.**

**2130 - Read through Ziva's notes on interview going to have to follow up tomorrow. Surveillance tapes showed nothing - need to look it again later - fresh eyes**

**2200 - Dinner with Jean - had to call it an early night - lot to do tomorrow**

**0000 - Finally going home. God I hate this.**

Gibbs read the rest of the log. Names changed but the situation didn't. Gibbs noted little to no down time, repeated comments about how much he hated what was happening. What he noticed most was Tony working alone. Tim and Ziva seemingly not being around. Tony redoing or just doing it himself, whatever needed to be done. The director pushing him to find the info she wanted.

As the months went on Gibbs noted a change. It coincided with his return from Mexico.

**Friday the 13****th**

**Gibbs is back. I really thought things would be better but of course, I was wrong. Everyone is blaming me for everything. Tim and Ziva are happy Gibbs is here. They've started doing their jobs again. Thank God! But Gibbs is acting like he's pissed at me. God help me if he finds out about Jean. I hate lying to all of them but especially Gibbs. It's really starting to get to me. My stomach has been in knots since he left and I think it has gotten worse since he returned. **

**I don't know what's wrong but the harder I try the worse it gets. Gibbs doesn't even trust me to gas up the car. What did I do?**

**Have to meet Jean's mother tonight. Never met someone's mom before. I guess no one ever thought I was good enough to bring home to mom. Hell, even now I'm not. Tony DiNardo is good enough.**

**Tim and Ziva are determined to show me up and put me down. If they only knew. The director's pissed as hell about my "lack of progress" and my "unprofessional behavior." I finally meet someone I think I could love and it's all based on a lie. Could this suck any worse? OH YES - Gibbs could find out before I am allowed to tell him. **

**It was a long day. We worked cold cases and though I turned all of my reports in on time Gibbs acted as if I had screwed them up. Tim and Ziva got a kick out of that. Wish I knew how to fix it but he's not giving me any clues as to what I am doing wrong.**

**I think I'm getting close on the Director's case. I'm meeting someone "special" to Jean tomorrow. I've been informed her father is in town. This could be it. God, please let this be it. I can't take this much longer. I'm tired and need a good night's sleep so bad.**

Gibbs suppressed a sigh. His senior field agent had been reduced to feeling worthless and still wanted to please all of them…_ How could I have been so blind?_

****************NCIS****************

3 Hours after Gibbs left them.

Ziva and Tim blamed Tony for everything. They sat on one side of the "Family Room" bickering about how unfair it was that they were being punished for another one of Tony's mistakes.

On the opposite side of the room, Ducky sat trying to comfort Abby. They hadn't heard anything about Tony's condition and they were worried.

This was the scene when Gibbs walked in. Quickly they all stood and gathered around the conference table. If it was possible, Gibbs looked angrier than when he left.

It took everything she had in her to not jump on Gibbs. Abby wanted to know what was happening with her friend but didn't think she should say anything to Gibbs.

Gibbs stood at the head of the table and threw the folder down on it. He had never been so angry with this or any other team he had lead. Angry and disappointed in their unprofessional attitude and their total disregard for their teammate. He was angry with himself as well. He had been blind to what was happening. He had allowed this attitude to fester and in some circumstances had actually helped it along. Things were going to change…now.


	5. Chapter 5

****************NCIS****************

Tony opened his eyes and was blinded by brightness of the room. He squinted and listened. He could hear the steady beep beep beep of the heart monitor. His head hurt. His mouth was dry. But worst of all the nausea was back. He tried to turn but pain shot up his left side.

The beeping of the monitor increased as the need to turn over became more urgent. His body wasn't responding how it should. He needed to move but couldn't. The door burst open but before the nurse could help him the nausea won out. He turned his head as best he could and began to projectile vomit. This increased the pain, which increased the nausea, which increased his need to vomit. It was a horrible cycle for which he could see no end.

His world began to recede into the darkness. He knew there were people in the room but he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't understand what they were saying. He couldn't stop the pain. His breathing increased and then came the cramping of his hands and feet. The pain continued to increase as his newly set wrist had the muscles contracted around it.

Dr. Sym entered the room and got a quick report. "Go get Agent Gibbs now. Maybe he can get through to him. Hurry! I don't want to sedate him again if we can avoid it."

****************NCIS****************

Before he could begin, the door burst open and a young frazzled nurse ran in. "Agent Gibbs, Dr. Sym needs you to come quickly. If you will follow me."

Turning to Abby, Gibbs called out. "Abby secure that file. NO ONE is to see it." Abby grabbed the file and headed to her car. She decided it was the safest place. "You two remain here. Ducky come with me!" Not waiting for a reply Gibbs turned and followed the nurse down the hall.

The nurse hadn't prepared him for what was happening. When he entered the room, the smell of vomit assaulted him. He looked to Tony who was crying in pain. His right hand and wrist were locked in an unnatural position, as were his feet. Vomit was all over the bed, floor and himself. His breathing was rapid, much too rapid. Gibbs made his way over to the bed. As easily as he could he gathered Tony up into his arms and began to talk to him.

"Easy Tony. It's okay. You need to show your breathing down." This mantra was repeated over and over until Tony began to slow his breathing. The Doctor placed a mask over his face to help alleviate the effects of the hyperventilation.

"Agent Gibbs we are going to give him come compazine for the nausea and a muscle relaxant for the spasms he is experiencing. We need him to relax and slow his breathing like you are doing."

"That's fine Doc. Can you get us another room and clean clothes?" Looking down at himself, he realized he too was covered in vomit. "For both of us."

"We'll get you some scrubs. I'll go see about a room. I'll be right back."

Ducky watched as the nurse administered the medication. Then he returned his attention to Tony and Gibbs. "Jethro, the combination of medications should be enough to get him to relax and get some sleep. Keep doing what you are…it's working."

"Ducky, I don't plan on going anywhere."

"Should I tell Ziva and Timothy to go home?"

"NO! They are going to stay here all night if they have to. They are going to learn about being a team or they are going to be looking for new jobs." Tony noticed Gibbs agitation and started to become agitated himself. Realizing what was happening Gibbs tried to ease his anger. "Shh…it's okay…just relax. I've got your 6."

Dr. Sym returned with some good news. "We have another room just down the hall. It's near the 'Family Room.' It's bigger and I will make arrangements to allow him to have more visitors."

"Doc, I appreciate what you are trying to do but for now only Ducky and I will be allowed in to see him. You can lift the restrictions but I will enforce my own until Tony is in a better frame of mind to deal with people. Can you fit a cot in there? I'll be staying with him."

"I figured you would want one. I have already made arrangements. From what you have said I will not lift the restrictions. This will help the nurses to enforce the no visitor policy. Now that he is a sleep, I'm going to have a portable x-ray until brought in to recheck his wrist. Hopefully, this incident didn't displace his fracture."

"Doc overall how is he doing?"

****************NCIS****************

It seemed like hours but it had only been 45 minutes. Tim and Ziva continued to complain to each other about being left in the room. Thankfully, there was a bathroom within it. Nevertheless, not being allowed to leave was starting to make them feel imprisoned. They were becoming more irritable by the moment.

As he approached the room, he tried to calm himself. Abby sat on the floor outside, she couldn't stand the thought of sitting with her team any longer. Ducky followed behind Gibbs. He was worried. Worried about Anthony, Jethro and the team. Abby jumped up upon Gibbs approach. "I locked the file in the car."

"Good. Did you read any of the info I had requested?"

"No. I didn't think I should." Without another word, the three entered the room.

"Be seated." There would be no pleasantries during this meeting / interrogation. "McGee!" Immediately snapping to attention while sitting, Tim wondered what was happening. "Tell me about what happened while I was gone."

"Well…ah…anything specific Boss?"

"No. I want your impression of what happened. How did you work together as a team? What you did, what Ziva and Tony did."

"Boss, nothing really changed. Except Tony was in charge. He tried to act like you but he wasn't you. He teamed Ziva and me together. We worked the cases. Tony…he…he seemed disconnected. He wasn't focused on what we were doing. We didn't know he was doing this bit with Jean. We worked multiple cases. Sometimes over lapping. I think he was overloaded." If Tim were as good at reading Gibbs as Tony, he would have realized how deep of a hole he had dug for himself.

"Ziva, what was your take on the situation?"

"I agree with Tim. Tony was in over his head. He would have us do 'fire side chats." He could not decide which way to go and then he would go off on his own. Maybe it was his other op. I do not know. He tried to be you but he is not. He became….agitated. You did not know how he would react. It made things difficult." In Ziva's mind she was being polite.

Gibbs' sigh was the first warning that he was about to explode. "Abby, Ducky do either of you have anything to add?"

"Anthony always appeared tired. I tried to get him in to give him a check up but he never had the time. I should have insisted the lad come in. He was very stoic. Much like today at the site. I was very concerned but I did not push to have him checked out. I regret that a great deal now." The sadness in his eye's portrayed the true depths of his sorrow. "When dealing with the team I noticed a…rift if you will. They seemed disjointed. Rarely did I deal with either Timothy or Ziva. Anthony was ever present. He made time to listen and to discuss the cases."

When Ducky finished, Abby started in. Her rendition of events was more emotional than the others. "Gibbs he…he worked so hard to try to keep it all together. He was in before everyone. Out after everyone else had left. Like Ducky said, he was serious…all the time. It was as if the life went out of him." She turned to face Ziva and Tim. "These two didn't help. I didn't say anything before but…Gibbs, they were late to work, early to leave. I know the director came down on Tony for them not getting their paperwork done on time. I only heard her say it once but…they were unprofessional. I tried to talk to him about it once. He… he told me not to worry. He said he would take care of things and make sure they didn't get in trouble. Gibbs, he never talked about how he was going to do it…but I got the feeling that he was covering their butts big time."

"So I gathered." Tim and Ziva looked about ready to defend themselves. "Don't… say… a word." Gibbs began pacing. After a few minutes, he sat down with his hands folded on the table. He refused to look at his team. He stared at the table. Responding in monotone, a chill settled on the members of the room.

"First, the two of you will be on suspension pending an investigation. Further charges will be filed after discussing this with Special Agent DiNozzo. Second, I personally find what you did reprehensible. You were lucky Tony was so forgiving…I'm NOT. I have read his daily log. I will be reading both of yours as well. Finally, you will report to the office at 0600 tomorrow. If you are going to be late…don't bother coming in. Your interviews will be conducted tomorrow.

I am extremely disappointed in you. Your attitude, your lack of professionalism has compromised this team and the safety of one of your own. Did it ever occur to you that the cases were being solved with little to no effort on your part? Did you put out any effort towards working with Tony? Or did you spend all of your time bickering and bitching about him being in charge and you not.

We have been sitting in this hospital for hours and yet neither of you have asked how he is doing. Do you have so little regard for him that you don't even care how he is doing? If that is the case, have your letter of resignation on my desk in the morning! Do I make myself clear?!"

"Yes boss" they responded simultaneously.

"Leave"

Attentively McGee stood and asked. "Boss…how is he?"

"LEAVE!" Gibbs left no room for questions. Ziva and McGee stood and left silently. Once they had gone, he continued. "Ducky, would you get a hold of Tony's medical records and meet with Dr. Sym. I want to know exactly what shape he is in physically. Abby I need you to go back to the office. Gather up Ziva and McGee's personal logs, payroll logs, and I want copies of all communications between Tony, the team and the director. Then would you please bring them back here, I'll be staying."

****************NCIS****************

Tony awoke to the sun pouring through the window. Turning his head, he could see Gibbs lying on a cot. He didn't understand what was going on. The pain had receded to a dull ache. He still had a headache but nothing like earlier. The events of the day before came back to him in a rush.

Gibbs heard the change in the heart monitor. The increasing speed of the beeping alerted him to a problem. Quickly he made his way to Tony's bedside. Tony had his head turned away from him but he could tell by the rise and fall of his chest Tony was starting to hyperventilate again. The question was, was he in pain?

Placing one hand on Tony's shoulder and using the other to take Tony's right hand into his own he began his mantra again. "Easy Tony. You're doing fine. Slow your breathing down." He placed Tony's right hand on his chest. It had worked before; he hoped it would work now. Tony had been lucky he had not displaced his fractured wrist yesterday. He didn't want to see Tony in pain. Slowly Tony's breathing eased but he still refused to look at Gibbs.

The nurse moved quickly to check Tony's vital signs. "Are you in any pain, sir?"

"I'm okay. It's not too bad."

"Call if you need anything, take it easy. Your breakfast tray will be here in 20 minutes."

"Thank you."

No flirting but he was civil. Now if only he could get Tony to talk to him. He waited for the nurse to leave before attempting. "Tony." No response. "Tony," he sighed. He needed to get through to Tony. Taking a deep breathe he decided he needed to open up to Tony and let him know what was going on. "I know you're awake so I guess you'll just have to listen to me while I talk to the back of your head." He wasn't sure where he should start. Shaking his head, he figured the beginning was when everything started to go wrong.

"When I woke up, all I could feel was pain. Not just physically but deep down in my soul. It was like it had happened all over again. My beautiful wife and daughter had been brutally taken away from me. Shannon is the love of my life. I obviously have tried to find it again but three ex-wives proves I couldn't. Kelly was the brightest spot in my life. She was beautiful inside and out. I still listen to the tape she made me of her playing the piano. Losing them once just about killed me. The second time was even harder. I hadn't had the opportunity to grieve and yet I was being pulled in every direction. A lifetime had passed, three ex-wives, friends, a job…everything was different. Everyone wanted me to go back to how I was… but I didn't know who I was any more.

When I left…I hadn't planned on coming back. I didn't want anything to do with this new life without Kelly and Shannon. I needed to find out who I was before I could move on. I needed to grieve all over again. No one here seemed willing to let me do that…they wanted me to just move on. I couldn't.

The whole time I was in Mexico I was assaulted with images of a life I didn't know. People I loved, trusted were pulled away because of death and lies. But the one constant was you. I knew I could trust you to have my six, to take care of the team and…well everything.

But while I have always had your faith, I have not returned your trust. I've let you down repeatedly.

I had all the confidence in the world in your ability to lead this team. I should have been more vocal about my faith in you. By pushing you to become even better it seems I forgot to tell you how truly exceptional you are and I haven't let others see that either.

I hadn't realized how I had set you up to fail; Tim and Ziva have never had a true appreciation for you… because of me. But even with all of that against you, you still managed to close an exceptional number of cases…basically by yourself.

Then I came back. Like you didn't have enough problems. I should have talked to you but instead I alienated you yet again. I wanted to get back to how things were but I didn't know what that was anymore. I had glimpses but they didn't match up with what I found when I returned. I should have talked to you; you were the only consistency in what I remembered.

Tony, you are what holds this team together. You are an excellent investigator. You don't allow obstacles to get in your way even when that obstacle is me. You think outside the box and have an intuition that can't be taught.

I wish you had confronted me before it got so far out of hand. I reviewed your personal log for the past six months."

That got a reaction out of Tony. Up until then he hadn't commented or even shown he was paying attention. "YOU WHAT?! WHAT GAVE YOU THE RIGHT?" Tony was furious.


	6. Chapter 6

"**You left me no choice. You wouldn't talk to me and I was concerned about you. I wanted to understand how we got to this point."**

"**Yeah right! You don't give a shit about me. All you care about is getting the job done and me listening to you."**

"**Tony, I was angry about the assignment and your not telling me but only because you were working without back up. I wasn't angry with you but I was pissed as hell at the director. How dare she risk your life, your health like that. She knows better. I don't want to see you hurt."**

"**Unless you're the one doing it. You say you weren't angry with me but you punished me. You thought it was funny to make me call Heidi's marks. You played along with Tim and Ziva. You and them, you kept acting like I lied to you but that's not the case. I was ordered not to tell any of you. You say you trust me but you don't. You've had me do every grunt job that's come along. You don't even trust me to fuel up the car for God's sakes. Then when I had a dentist appointment, you didn't believe me. It took me two weeks to get that appointment. But you don't even trust me to go to the dentist. I sent you an email requesting the time." Tony grunted in frustration.**

"**Tony, I'm sorry. I've screwed up. It's going to be different now. This past couple of months has helped me get my memories back. I know who I am and that's because of you. Like I said I went through your personal log…"**

**Tony interrupted again. He knew he had personal comments and observations in it. He felt like the last of his privacy had been stolen. "You had no right. It's called a personal log for a reason."**

"**Like I said I was worried about you. I understand why you haven't been talking to me. I needed to understand what you had been through since I was gone and since I returned."**

**More subdued and quiet Tony responded. "You had no right." Looking at the blanket, he couldn't face Gibbs.**

"**It was very enlightening. As a result I've decided to make some changes." Tony groaned. He figured he was being moved to another team.**

"**Tim and Ziva have been suspended. I told them last night. They were to be in the office at 0600 or have their resignations on my desk. I have not fully decided upon their punishment. Obviously they have forgotten about following orders, doing their jobs and showing respect. They will re-learn these things or they will find another team, another job. I don't care which."**

"**I don't know how that will help. They'll just resent me even more."**

"**They better change or they'll be looking for new jobs." Gibbs left no room for questions on that one. Tony looked like he was going to question it anyway. "Enough is enough. Let me take care of you and the team for a while. You've been taking care of and covering for them and me for long enough. Thank you for that but now I'm ready to really start leading the team. I want you to relax and take time for yourself. I want you to get healthy. If they leave, or I fire them, I am not worried. You and I worked alone before they came along. We can do it again."**

"**So what will you be doing with them on suspension and me laid up? I don't much like the idea of you being out their without someone on your six."**

"**I'm working on that, you are going to be out of commission for at least 6 weeks."**

"**How did you get the director to agree to all of this?" Tony was almost lively, wondering how Gibbs had talked Jenny Sheppard into this style of punishment. Even in his weakened state the thought that for once he wasn't in trouble was appealing to him. He wasn't happy they were being suspended but on the other hand they had made his life a living hell. He was glad Gibbs was putting an end to it.**

"**I told her I would report her for conduct unbecoming, for placing an agent in harms way and for blatant disregard for work standards."**

"**Disregard for work standards?" Tony raised his eyebrows; he wasn't sure what this charge was for.**

"**You worked 90 plus hours per week without monetary compensation and without the mandatory decompression time after being under for so long."**

"**Oh," Tony didn't know what to say to all of this. "So what are you going to do?" The look of pain registered on Tony's face as he tried to shift his position. Gibbs reached up and pressed the call button for the nurse.**

"**Easy Tony. Just relax. The nurse will be here in just a minute to give you something for the pain." Gibbs wanted to help but knew there wasn't anything he could do to ease Tony's physical pain other than call for a nurse.**

"**I'm…fine." A small bead of sweat broke out on his upper lip. He was anything but fine.**

"**Tony, you're not fine. Now take it easy and let us help you. Let me **help you." Tony thought he heard Gibbs almost pleading. The nurse entered before Tony could answer. He tried to control his breathing and to ignore the pain. It didn't work. "Agent DiNozzo?"

"Tony…call me…Tony." He tried to be charming but the pain was too bad.

"Tony," she smiled. "I'm Nancy. I'll be your morning nurse. Let's get you something for the pain. How bad is it?"

"It's okay."

She smiled at the obvious lie. "Well, your vitals tell me otherwise." She prepared the injection and then pushed it through the IV Port. "Just relax. This will probably knock you out for a while."

"You sleep. I will be here when you wake up. I'm going to run into the office and take care of Tim and Ziva." Gibbs looked down at Tony, he was already sleeping.

****************NCIS****************

Tim sat at his desk. He hadn't slept at all since leaving the hospital. He had worked with Tony for three years. Looking back on his actions over the past few months, he was ashamed of how he had behaved. He couldn't say what had gotten into him. As he looked across to his partner's desk, he realized he had fed off her.

"Why do you hate him? What has he ever done to you?"

She looked at him incredulously. "Hate him! Why should I hate him? You have to respect someone before you can hate them. I have no respect for him. He is childish, self-absorbed, a poor investigator, unfocused, and disrespectful. The only…I repeat the only reason he is senior field agent is that he has been here longer. If Gibbs stopped protecting him he would fall flat on his face."

Tony was appalled by what he heard. Now with his head out of the clouds he heard the bitterness spewing from Ziva. He couldn't believe he had once agreed with her. Now he was appalled to have ever considered what she said to be true. "How can you be like that after everything we've been through? How can you question his ability to investigate cases? He has a way of looking at things…like it's a puzzle. He's usually a step a head and waiting for us to catch up. Don't you get it! He waits for us to catch up, not the other way around."

"That is cow. You saw what happened when Gibbs left. He was never around. We worked the cases and he took the credit. He is not a good leader. He shouldn't be left in charge of anything."

Neither of them had noticed when Gibbs had arrived. He stood listening and growing angrier. Taking his last drink of coffee, he crumpled up the cup and threw it into the trashcan. Anger poured from Gibbs. Tim shrank back wondering how much Gibbs had over heard. Having had the time to think and rethink his actions, Tim felt he was back to himself. He only wished it wasn't too late to make amends.

"Boss, how's Tony?" Gibbs could tell Tim was concerned but it was a little too little and little to late in his eyes.

"Both of you get into interrogation." Gibbs wasn't about to have this conversation in the bullpen. Ziva was only beginning to understand how serious the situation was. She stood without saying a word. As she passed Gibbs, she could feel his gaze as it bore into her. He was looking into her soul. Without looking up Gibbs directed them, "Ziva Interrogation One. Tim Two."

"Yes Boss," they responded in unison.

****************NCIS****************

Gathering their personal logs, Gibbs sat down to read them. He assumed they would be much quicker than reading Tony's Log. He hadn't considered their logs to be the joke they were.

Ziva's Log

**Monday 23**

**0900 work - DiNozzo in Sheppard's office - probably in trouble again.**

**1200 lunch**

**1300 Finish filing**

**1600 off duty**

**Thurs 2**

**0930 - work - DiNozzo not in yet**

**1130 Lunch**

**1300 Work**

**1500 Off Duty**

**Friday 18**

**1000 work - DiNozzo still not in office - Sheppard looking for him**

**1130 Lunch**

**1300 Work - DiNozzo finally in - in Sheppard's office**

**1530 Off Duty**

Gibbs hadn't been disappointed Ziva's log was what he expected. Ziva showed her contempt through her lack of detail. He had also noted comments in the side column making snide remarks. 'wish Gibbs were here' 'he should never have been made lead'

Gibbs fury towards Ziva had peaked.

**Tim's Log**

**Wed the 25th**

**0830 - Tony's trying to be Gibbs. Another "Fire side chat." Maybe Ziva's right; he's using us because he doesn't know what to do**

**1030 Sent back to scene to conduct second search - he's grasping at straws**

**1230 Lunch**

**1330 Tony's not happy - nothing new. Wish Gibbs would come back**

**1500 Returned to Bullpen - Tony is nowhere around. Ziva doesn't know or care where he is. Can't believe he took off without us. Oh well.**

**1630 Tony hasn't checked in - Going home**

He didn't want to read further but he knew he had to. Cross-referencing the dates, he saw how and why DiNozzo had ended up in the shape he was in right now.

****************NCIS****************

Tim was tapping his fingers on the table. Nervous didn't even come close to how he was feeling. He hated Gibbs being angry with him. He hated himself for what he had become over the past six months. When Gibbs entered, Tim was about ready to burst. He watched as Gibbs threw the personal logs on the table.

"Boss, can I say something before you get started?" Not trusting himself to speak for the moment Gibbs simply nodded. "I've been up all night thinking. But before we get started…can you tell me how Tony is… please?"

_Maybe Tim is salvageable. _"He's doing better. He's going to be out for 6 to 8 weeks." He didn't want to get into a list of Tony's medical condition that is not what this was all about this was about their behavior.

"Would it be alright for me to stop by later? I'd really like to apologize to him." Tim couldn't look Gibbs in the eye, he knew he had been wrong and wanted desperately to fix things with his friend before it was too late. He only hoped it wasn't too late already.

****************NCIS****************


	7. Chapter 7

Gibbs had to think about Tim's request. Tim appeared to be sincere. However, Gibbs had his doubts. Too much had happened. Reading their personal logs made him realize he hadn't been the only one to lose his way. Each member of the team had been changed.

Tim had become the obstinate pain in the ass little brother. Ziva had become bitter and disgruntled. She had thought she deserved to run the team but she still lacked the experience and compassion to lead.

Then there was Tony. Always a good worker. Tony made it appear that he was a playboy, a womanizer but it was all an elaborate act. His references to movies showed the complex way he related situations to something everyone may have experienced. More often than not Tony had the cases figured out and strung the two younger agents along so they would learn. After his departure, Tony became serious. He worked harder than ever before because he felt alone. Instead of teaching his junior agents, he ran behind them fixing their mistakes. He didn't have the time to teach them any longer.

From his comments, it appeared that Tim was starting to understand. He finally realized the cases were solved with little to no help from himself or Ziva, yet they were solved. Only Tony could have done that he realized.

****************NCIS****************

"What do you want to apologize for?" Gibbs wanted to give Tim the benefit of the doubt but it was getting harder as time went on.

"Boss, I've spent all night thinking. I've screwed up." He looked up and met Gibbs' gaze. "I was confused when you left. I couldn't believe you were gone. Tony…he…he just took over like it was no big deal. All of a sudden, he was giving orders and expecting us to follow him. He was disappearing and having "doctor's" appointments." Tim shook his head, if only he had known. "At first, I thought maybe he was sick but he wouldn't talk about it. I figured something was wrong but I didn't know what or how to help. The longer you were gone the surlier he became and I didn't bother to try to figure him out any more. He looked sick…and tired all the time. I figured he was partying it up. I figured the tiredness and the mood were because he was constantly hung over. If I had known he was doing an undercover op…But I didn't, I thought he was shirking his duties. I should have tried to talk to him but I didn't. I should have known better. I…I should have…" McGee stopped, he didn't know what he should have done. He knew he shouldn't have listened to Ziva but he didn't want to sell his teammate down the river.

"You what McGee…what would you have done. I've read your logs. What would you have done differently? What happened to you when I left?" The fury showed through Gibbs' words.

Tim cringed. "I…I…I don't know. I should have remembered what I know about Tony. I should have remembered that he was a good investigator. I let other things affect my judgment. I'm sorry boss. I'll accept whatever punishment you deem fit but I'd like the opportunity to apologize to Tony."

"Tony will have to decide if he wants to see you. I'll let him know and if…if he decides to see you, I will authorize it with the hospital. Otherwise I have put a restriction on who is permitted to see him. If you do anything to upset him while he is recovering…so help me God…"

"Thank you Boss. I understand. I won't upset him. I just want to set things straight."

"I wasn't going to do this but I think it's important that you understand. I have edited a portion of his log. I'm going to let you read it. When you are finished, we will talk again. Stay here. I'll be back."

****************NCIS****************

Ziva passed the time pacing the small interrogation room. The more she paced the angrier she became, all of her anger was directed at Tony. Gibbs watched her from the observation booth. He too became angrier as she paced. Her surly comments only served to antagonize him further. Ziva figured she was being watched but didn't care. She didn't want to lose her job so she spoke in her native tongue. She continued to mumble her sarcastic, caustic remarks about Tony believing no one would understand what she was saying. She was wrong. Gibbs had brought in an interpreter for just this reason. He wanted to know what Ziva was thinking not the party line he figured she would spin for him.

****************NCIS****************

The interpreter told Gibbs what was being said. He didn't need to convey the attitude behind the words because it was quite evident. Gibbs felt like he was on an emotional roller coaster. The anger would grow until he felt like he was going to explode. Then his emotions would settle into a steady anger. He would calm for a moment but it was only fleeting. The events of the past six months weighed heavily on his mind. He knew there was nothing he could do to change what had happened. He blamed himself for many of the problems Tony had faced.

Playing the what if game was never good. Everyone knows that hindsight is 20/20. What if he had shown Tony more respect, would the others have done it as well? What if he had allowed Tony to be a recognized lead on cases before he had turned the team over, would they have realized how lucky they were to work with him? What if he had been more cognizant of Tony's abilities, if he had recognized those openly to Tony as well as the team… would they have understood what Tony was trying to teach them? Would they have realized what an exceptional investigator he was? What if… What if…

Gibbs realized his lack of appreciation for Tony had caused him a great deal of pain. He was determined to make it right. He had recognized his error. Now he wanted the others to do so. They needed to learn. They needed to understand how reprehensible their behavior had been while he was gone and upon his return. He accepted his blame in this matter. He was paying the price by having lost Tony's trust.

Tim seemed to be back to his old self, hopefully a little more humble. But he had had six months to contemplate his behavior, Gibbs didn't believe that less than 24 hours had completely turned him around. He wasn't off the hook by a long shot. He still needed to pay for his part in what he had been done to Tony. He should have realized long before this that he was wrong. It was a shame it took Tony being in an accident for him to realize it. But in a way Gibbs couldn't blame him…he'd done the same thing.

But now was the time to deal with Ziva. His anger drew to a crescendo as she strolled around blatantly taking about Tony as if he was a piece of dirt. How dare she behave in such a manner? Who did she think she was? Gibbs knew who he thought she was…the catalyst for disaster. She had been the one to kibitz with McGee…to turn him against his nature…to feed him lies and hate. She was going to be stopped.


	8. Chapter 8

**For as much as Gibbs wanted to return to the hospital to be with Tony, he knew he had one more stop to make. The Director was expecting him. She knew it was only a matter of time. She hoped he was not going to resign again but she had already prepared herself for the possibility. **

**Gibbs entered the office and sat at the chair across from her desk. She used to be able to read him so well…now he only exuded anger. She knew she was about to hear it directed at her. To be honest with herself she understood and expected no less.**

"**Jethro." She didn't want to make this any harder than necessary.**

"**Director," **_**How could he make that one word drip with such sarcasm, **_**she thought.**

"**How is Agent DiNozzo?" She was truly concerned. If he did not fare well, Jethro would fall apart, of that she had no doubt. She had seen his interactions with his agent. He behaved as if Tony were his son.**

"**He is still in serious condition. They are treating him and hope to have him released as soon as possible." He took a deep breath. "He will be out for at least 6 to 8 weeks. I will be taking a leave for the same about of time." She noted this was a statement and not a request. She knew she could push him about the formality of the request but knew she was treading on thin ice as it was. She nodded her assent. She knew there was more to come. They had briefly discussed the teams dynamics and recent behavior. She had told him the repercussions where his to determine and she would back him fully. She knew this was the only way to keep herself out of hot water. **

"**What have you decided to do with Tim and Ziva?" Her curiosity was getting the best of her. She had know Jethro for years and had never seen him formally reprimand anyone. **

**Calmly he explained his position on each of them and the sanctions he had placed on them. He also told her it would be up to Tony if either or both of them were to be allowed to return to the team. She found the punitive measures to be well within reason. She wanted to disagree with two agents being taken out of the field, she understood they had not proven themselves to perform without close supervision. As such she had to agree with his assessment. When he finished discussing Tim and Ziva he turned the discussion towards the Director.**

"**Jen, you have disappointed me as well. I taught you better. You turned your back on all this agency stood for to seek personal revenge. You put an agent in long term undercover without any backup and without anyone there to support him. Then when the shit hit the fan you had the audacity to tell me he is your agent to do with as you see fit. Jen, so help me, if you ever do that to him or any agent again, I will report you to every authority there is and make certain you are not able to hold so much as a dog catcher's position. You showed total disregard for the safety and wellbeing of your agent. From now on he is mine. You will have no say over assignments he is given. You drove him to the point of breaking and sacrificed his physical and mental health. I hope you learn from this…I know I have." He paused, he was broken hearted over his behavior towards Tony as well. This same speech could have been read to him as far as he was concerned. He vowed to make it up to Tony. **

"**Agreed. Is there anything else I can do for you?" She knew to play her cards close to home. Jethro was not someone you wanted on your bad side. **

"**Yes. I would like you to take responsibility for the retraining of these two agents. I would like them both to be brought back up through the ranks, starting with archive work and filing. I want them to understand what a team is all about. I know I am being demanding but I need to be certain they are capable of returning to our team and watching our backs. If they can't then I want them turned loose."**

**Jen sat back and thought about this for am moment. The smile that came across her face was one for the books. "I have a plan…"**

**20 minutes later Gibbs left the building knowing Jen would make or break his two agents. He hoped Tim would survive. He wasn't certain about Ziva was she more trouble than she was worth? They would soon find out.**

******************NCIS******************

**Gibbs entered the hospital room to find Tony sleeping. He appeared calm for the first time in a long time. Gibbs hoped he would be able to salvage this relationship. He loved Tony like a son. He had told him this but actions speak louder than words. He needed to show Tony how much he cared.**

**He sat back in the chair, holding Tony's hand in his. He prayed again for Tony's recovery. He sat back for just a moment to close his eyes and…fell asleep.**

******************NCIS******************

**When Tony awoke he found he wasn't in as much pain and Gibbs was holding his hand. He looked at the man he admired the most. He wanted to be just like him. The only problem he could see was that it was impossible to Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He could only be a cheap imitation. That though depressed him. He began to think of how he wasn't good enough. He needed to get away before he got someone else in trouble or hurt.**

**Gibbs noticed the tension in his hand increase. He woke to Tony staring at him. He knew something was wrong but what, he didn't know.**

"**Tony, are you alright?" He asked.**

"**Yes…no…I don't know. What am I going to do? They are going to hate me no matter what you do. How can I ever face them knowing I got them in trouble?"**

"**Let's get one thing perfectly clear. This was in no way your fault. I created this problem and now I am correcting it. Do not worry about you facing them…worry about them facing you. They will be under the direct supervision of the director until you return to work. You will be given the opportunity to determine if they are going to be allowed back on the team. I don't want them if you don't trust them." Gibbs gave Tony a moment to absorb this new information. Gibbs paused for a moment. He needed to get his head wrapped around what he was about to say. **

"**Tony, I need to know if you are going to be able to trust me. Are you going to want to come back to the team? I sincerely pray you do. I wouldn't do this without you. I want to make this right. I want to set things straight between us before we even concern ourselves with anything else."**

**Tony sat dumbfounded. Never before had he seen Gibbs so apologetic. Never before had he seen him look so lost. Even after the coma he appeared to be more self-assured but now… "Boss, didn't you always say apologizing is a sign of weakness?" He smiled.**

"**Not when it comes to family. Tony, I came back because of you. I wont stay if you don't want me here. I want whatever is best for you."**

"**Boss…I…"**


	9. Chapter 9

Tony sat dumbfounded. Never before had he seen Gibbs so apologetic. Never before had he seen him look so lost. Even after the coma he appeared to be more self-assured but now… "Boss, didn't you always say apologizing is a sign of weakness?" He smiled.

"Not when it comes to family. Tony, I came back because of you. I wont stay if you don't want me here. I want whatever is best for you."

"Boss…I…"

****************NCIS****************

He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Gibbs…the man of steel was asking him if he wanted him to stay. This couldn't be right…but it was, Gibbs was still sitting there waiting for an answer.

"Boss…I… family." He shook his head. "You know before I met you I thought that word was synonymous with pain. My father never took the time to speak to me or pay any real attention to me... Unless he was going to hit me. He thought it was fun to humiliate me in front of his friends. You know I told you, after Atlas was recovered, about how my father said I would wind up in a gutter. That is a hard thing for a 12 year old to take. It's harder still when it is one of the last things he ever really said to you before he shipped you off to military school.

The damage was done long before you found me. Before coming to NCIS, I had never spent more than two years at any job. I always found a way to screw things up. I'd leave before they fired me. Then one day in walks this grouchy agent and my life was never the same. You seemed to accept me in spite of my faults.

You have taught me more about life than you have about being an investigator. You taught me to trust people and to respect them. But I have got to say that the past two months have damaged that trust." He knew what he was about to say was going to hurt Gibbs, but he needed to know what he had done. "I thought you were turning into my father." Tony looked down at the bedspread. He didn't want to see the disappointment, the anger in Gibbs' eyes.

"I know Tony…I'm sorry. I can't guarantee you that I wont ever screw up again. Or that I wont be an insensitive jerk again. I have never been good at showing my feelings unless it was negative. Kelly is…was the best thing in my life. She taught me what unconditional love really was. When she was taken away…I never thought I could feel that way…that much again. I have pushed the people I care the most about away. Like I said I can't guarantee you that I'll be able to fix everything right away. But I can guarantee you two things. First, if I screw up like this again, you have my permission to kick my ass for being an idiot. Second, I will do my best to learn from this and to try not to repeat my mistakes. I am aware of what I have done and plan to do what it takes to win your trust back."

"You never lost my trust." It was spoken so quietly, Gibbs thought he hadn't really heard it. He thought it was just wishful thinking. Gibbs looked at Tony in surprise. After everything that had happened, it appeared Tony was putting out an olive branch. "What do you mean I never lost your trust?"

"You didn't. I lost faith in me. I thought it was my fault not yours. I thought I was the screw up, not you. Like I said the damage was done long before we met. When I left my father's house I had no self-esteem. College, sports and my friends helped, but I always doubted. You were different. I need to learn to have more faith in me and to not allow others to make me doubt myself so easily."

"Tony…it wasn't you. I'll keep saying it until you believe it." Gibbs gave him a brief smile. "So do you want to hear what I have planned for us until you are fit to return to duty?"

Tony couldn't believe his ears. Did Gibbs just say 'they' had plans together. He wanted to spend time with him, but it was frightening.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva returned to her apartment seething. She would take the next two weeks to plan her revenge against Gibbs and Tony. After all, isn't that what her father taught her to do. They were going to wish they had never met her. She smiled as she sat down on the couch. So many plans to be made. She wanted them to suffer for putting her through this humiliation.

****************NCIS****************

McGee sat alone on his couch. He still could not believe he had behaved so poorly. His parents had taught him better. He knew they would be disappointed in him. More importantly, he was disappointed in himself. He knew better.

After reading the edited version of Tony's logs, he wondered what the unedited had looked like. What he read was horrible enough, he couldn't imagine how much worse it could have been that lead Gibbs to edit it. In all honesty he didn't want to think about how much worse it had been. He had taken Tony's friendship and stomped on it.

Tim was determined to become a better agent and a better friend. He would do whatever he was told to do, accept any punishment and what ever decision Tony made about talking to him or allowing him back on the team.

****************NCIS****************

Jen counted herself lucky. She knew her rather unorthodoxy behavior could have gotten her removed from office and possibly removed from NCIS all together. She accepted her part of the blame in all of this. It was because of her mission that Tony was unable to spend the time with the team to develop them. He was free of that responsibility for now. To right her wrong, she had to take responsibility for Tim and Ziva. It was her responsibility to re-create them into the agents she expected them to be.

Being a team short caused a lot of additional paperwork. The other teams were so busy with cases that their paperwork fell behind. She was happy to see she would have to additional people to assist with the copying and filing of reports. She had every intention of making their lives a living hell for the next couple of weeks (once they returned from their suspensions). Tim would be the first to start. Between the two of them, she figured he would be the easiest to retrain. She needed to build a team again.

Her mind wandered as she once again considered her plan. It was perfect, Gibbs had approved. It would be humbling but teach both Ziva and Tim a lesson in compassion, friendship, forgiveness and teamwork. The Special Kids Camp was ideal. For two weeks they would be camp counselors for the NCIS camp.

After camp they would return to NCIS boot camp to lecture on the merits of teamwork. They would run the confidence course with each other. Jen planned to be there to supervise this event.

Much like boot camp, this course was meant to break you down and rebuild you. Ziva needed to learn to trust others and to follow directions. If she was incapable of doing such, she would be asked to leave. This was her last chance.

****************NCIS****************


	10. Chapter 10

Tony was released from the hospital two weeks after his accident. His wrist was healing nicely. His knee, though only badly sprained still had not healed enough to bare weight. That combined with fractured ribs left Tony unable to get around easily. With his wrist still in a cast he wasn't able to use crutches.

Gibbs hadn't left Tony's side. The staff hadn't been given a choice in allowing Gibbs to stay. He simply stayed no matter what was said to him. He and Tony had spent hours talking about Kelly, Shannon and mostly about what the future held for them. Tony would be staying at Gibbs house until he was able to get around. His apartment was on the third floor but the elevator was once again broke. Tony wasn't strong enough to climb the stairs. He knew this but stil wanted to go to his home. He wanted his independence.

Everything was spiraling out of control. Tony felt as if he had no control over anything in his life any more. The events of the past 6 months had left him emotionally raw. He needed to regain control. He didn't know what to do anymore. He wanted his life back.

****************NCIS****************

Tony thought back to his hospital stay. His emotions were running high. He was quiet one moment and yelling the nest. He didn't know what to say or do anymore. He was afraid to see anyone, he didn't want them to see him like this. He needed the time to get himself together. Gibbs had helped. After everything that had happened he was able to find solace in Gibbs.

After a week of healing and talking with Gibbs, Tony agreed to see Ducky and Abby. He refused to see anyone else. They hadn't cared before, he didn't care now. Their attitude towards him had been horrific. It had never seemed so bad with Gibbs. Gibbs had not been as cruel. He had made little jabs but nothing like Tim and Ziva. Their constant bombardment of him had taken it's toll. Now, he was determined to get well and to return to them as a strong healthy agent.

Tony had spoken to the doctors. His doctors, along with Gibbs and Ducky, designed a regiment to get him back on his feet. His weight loss was a big concern. His diet was designed to put the weight back on gradually. An exercise and stretching routine was designed to build his strength. He had been diagnosed with exhaustion. The doctors wanted him on bed rest. That left his self-esteem…that was Gibbs department.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs knew he needed to fix things. He knew Tony held long term issues but he was determined to help. Now, two weeks since the shit had hit the fan he was able to start. His plan had been set into action. Jen would keep him updated on her progress with Tim and Ziva but his main concern was Tony.

The two weeks spent at the hospital had allowed Gibbs to make arrangements. He never discussed them with Tony. He made them while Tony was asleep or when he was visiting with Ducky and Abby.

****************NCIS****************

The first week back for Tim was like a return to being a probie. He was re-assigned to another team to be essentially their secretary. Without being allowed to do field work he found his time spent in archives, research and filing. If that weren't bad enough, it appeared he was being shunned by his fellow agents. He was getting the same treatment he had given to Tony.

What Tim had failed to realize before this was just how well liked and respected Tony was by their fellow agents. This became painfully aware as they turned their backs on him now. They knew what had happened. They had watched it happen over the months and were appalled that one of their own could be treated so harshly by one of their own.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva was scheduled to start her rotation as a probie this morning. Jen arrived early expecting Ziva to cause problems. What she found was a subdued Ziva. Jen didn't trust this new persona. She knew Ziva's background.

Her father had trained her well. She was able to blend in when she wanted. She could hide in plain sight. Her ability to kill without the blink of an eye was drilled into her by her father and her uncles.

But she lacked compassion. She had no interpersonal skills to speak of whatsoever. Jen was determined to teach her to be human. Ziva needed to understand that her attitude and lack of respect could have a detrimental affect on those around him.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva had decided to play the game. She would act the part and wait for her moment to strike. She did not feel she had any need to feel sorry for her treatment of Tony. It was not her fault he was weak. She was the superior investigator not the child.

She had been trained from childhood to be an investigator, a spy, and a killer. HE merely played the role. He was a rich boy living out a fantasy. She had researched him. She knew who his father was and what he did for a living. Tony had grown up in a life of privilege, never wanting for anything. She had seen his kind before.

Her childhood had been filled with pain and suffering. Punishments were handed out readily. At training camp she was treated as an adult. She was punished as an adult. She was use to pain.

To her estimation Tony had no idea of what a hard life was or what pain was. But he would in time. She would see to that. He needed to be taught a lesson. She knew he was better than him, he needed to learn that as well.

****************NCIS****************


	11. Chapter 11

Tony was sitting in Gibbs guest room alone. It was the first time he had really been by himself in weeks. He was still in shock about the concern being shown to him by Gibbs. He had been afraid it would end when he was released from the hospital or when the guilt had worn off. But now almost three weeks later, Gibbs was still just as attentive.

He had needed a little time. He needed to think. Thankfully Gibbs had seemed to understand when he had asked for a little time alone.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs packed the car. Tony needed time, he understood that, after all isn't that why he had gone to Mexico. He wanted to give Tony his Mexico, his place of solace. He hadn't told Tony what he had planned to do. He had made all of the arrangements and now it was time to spring them on Tony. He was going to make certain Tony was given the opportunity to relax and rehabilitate.

****************NCIS****************

He made his way back into the house. Tony had been left to himself for the past 2 hours. He hoped it had been enough time. He stood outside Tony's room but didn't hear any noise from within. He hoped Tony wasn't sleeping.

"Tony, can I come in?"

"Sure." Defeat could be heard in his voice. He felt better but he still wanted more time.

"I have the car packed. Are you up for a ride?" Gibbs was hoping this would be the right thing to do. He knew Tony needed this, he just hoped Tony would agree to give it a chance.

"Where are we going?" Tony's interest was peaked. He hadn't told Gibbs but he had heard Gibbs make a lot of calls over the pass couple of weeks. His curiosity was peaked.

"That my boy is a surprise. I have already packed your bag. So what do you think? You prepared to spend some one-on-one time with me?"

Tony thought he could hear a little yearning in Gibbs' voice. He had been through so much and wanted to explore this new fatherly relationship with Gibbs. He had never had a real father / son relationship with his father. He didn't know what to expect from this new Gibbs.

****************NCIS****************

As the days passed Tim realized how wrong he had been. He knew he had treated Tony much worse than what he was being subjected to now. The longer he thought about it, the deeper the sorrow and shame he felt. He had not spoken to or seen Ziva since the day they were suspended.

The more distance he had from Ziva the more centered he became. He started remembering what he knew of Tony, the real Tony. Tony didn't share much about his past. What he had shared had not been pleasant. The stories seemed unbelievable but later he found out they were true. He began to wonder how horrible of a life Tony had as a child. That brought him back to asking questions. What hadn't he shared with him and Kate? How much worse had his life been? Tony said even less once Ziva came around.

Tim thought back on his own childhood. His life could have been considered American Apple Pie. He lived in a small suburb with his happily married parents and his little sister. They were a middle income family with no hardships or pain. School came easy to him. The most difficult time in his life was dating. Dating continued to be the most difficult thing for him to deal with as an adult as well.

****************NCIS****************

Finishing her first week as a secretary for another team had not changed Ziva's attitude. She felt her talents were being wasted. The more time passed the more her anger grew. Ziva did not care how the others were treating her. Tony had them all brainwashed. They actually believed he was a good agent.

Time was on her side. The more time she had the better. She refused to learn from this experience. She did not need to learn…she already knew more than him.

****************NCIS****************

Jen stood looking over the rail down on the bull pen. She watched as Ziva worked on files. She could tell this wasn't working. She needed to step up the heat on Ziva or this would fail.

Returning to her office she made her decision. Ziva needed to work a cold case. She withdrew the file from her desk. She had some work to do on it before she would allow Ziva to see it. If she did this right, Ziva would learn a lesson of a life time.

****************NCIS****************

"Come on Gibbs, are we there yet?" After two hours on the road Tony had had enough of this road trip.

Gibbs chuckled. Tony sounded just like Kelly had on trips. "Not yet. We have another few hours. Do you need to stop? There's a small town up ahead."

"How much further til we get there?"

"About 6 hours if we drive straight through." Gibbs watched as Tony fidgeted in his seat.

"Then yes, I need to stop. Please." He wasn't sure how Gibbs would react to his needing to stop. He was beginning to cramp up. He couldn't handle another six hours without getting out of the car. He needed to stretch out a little.

"No problem. Harrisonburg is just ahead. Why don't we stop, get some lunch…"

"And some snacks for the rest of the trip, please?" Tony sounded hopeful.

"Sure we can do that. How are you feeling?" Gibbs noted Tony's tension and his constant use of please. He knew Tony was always polite but this was bordering on ridicules. He figured this was another of his father's hang-ups.

"Fine. Just need to stretch a little. I've never taken a trip by car before…except when I was moving from department to department." Tony looked down at the floor of the car. "We never traveled together. Well, accept that one time in Hawaii. You know how well that turned out." He was embarrassed to admit his family hadn't taken the time to take vacations together.

****************NCIS****************

So many times he had taken for granted his childhood and his family. Seeing Tony tense over something as simple as a small trip was heart wrenching. He wanted to make up for not only what he had done but what had been done to him by his father. He wished he could be a father to Tony the type of father he only dreamed of having been to Kelly.

He looked across at Tony and wondered if he would understand. Would Tony reject his attitude? Would Tony reject him?

****************NCIS****************


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you for all of your reviews. I have been working on this story for a few months. I'm glad to see you are enjoying this adventure.

This chapter will contain descriptions of child abuse injuries.

****************NCIS****************

Jen had spent the evening doctoring the closed case for Ziva. As far as she was concerned this was Ziva's last chance. If she could not feel anything for the child in this file, she could never be taught compassion.

_**Child Abuse Case 0089725**_

_**Exhibit 1 - Doctor Hearland Notes**_

_**At 1900 on May 15, 1985 a patient was brought to the ER via ambulance. The patient was back boarded and c-collared. Splints were noted to the left arm and leg. Patient was unresponsive to painful stimuli upon arrival of EMS and has remained so. EMS initiated IV and O2 in the field. **_

_**Initial exam noted the following:**_

_**Pt is a 10 year old white male with obvious deformity to the distal left radius/ulna and left tib/fib. Airway remains patent with no assistance needed with spontaneous respirations at a rate of 16 per minute. Significant bruising was noted to the upper torso. Abdomen was soft and non-tender on palpation. The patient has a laceration with a hematoma to the right frontal lobe.**_

_**The following labs were ordered:**_

_**CBC and chem panel**_

_**Urinalysis**_

_**X-rays were ordered for extremities, torso and head/c-spine. **_

_**20 minutes after arrival at the ER the patient was beginning to respond. The patient became alert but refused to speak. Patient appears to be apprehensive. Repeated attempts to get a response from the patient were unsuccessful.**_

_**Lab results:**_

_**CBC and chem panel were within normal range**_

_**Urinalysis : positive for Hematuria**_

_**X-rays : distal fracture of the left radius and ulna, midline fracture of the left tib/fib**_

_**Thorax - incomplete fracture of ribs 5 & 6 on the right side, bruising on the left. Bruising to the crest of Ilium on the right. C-spine and cranium are negative.**_

_**NOTE : X-rays show a history of fractures. Fractures of Right humerus, multiple old rib fractures, a greenstick fracture of the left arm, and left ankle fracture.**_

_**Diagnosis:**_

_**This child presented with injuries consistent with a fall, upon further examination bruising in the shapes of hands and feet were noted to the child's torso. The child has not spoken and the father is becoming insistent the child be released to his personal physician.**_

_**Final note: The child has been discharged as a result of a court order from the father. The care of the child has been remanded to Dr. Charles Recker.**_

****************NCIS****************

Ziva had been studying the file for almost an hour by Jen's estimation. Her demeanor had not changed as of yet. Jen noted the change as it gradually occurred. Ziva was observed to be wiping her eyes. Jen knew she had not figured out who the file belonged to but she would by the end of the day.

The morning was spent reviewing the doctor's notes, observations and list of previous admittances. This innocent child had suffered a great deal. She did not believe children should be abused and this was clearly abuse. It was one thing to discipline a child for misbehaving but this was beyond even the punishments she had received.

****************NCIS****************

_**EXHIBIT 15**_

_**Child Abuse Case 0167549**_

_**Exhibit 1 - Doctor Sound's Notes**_

_**July 17, 1987 - A 12 year old while male presented this evening with significant injuries. The father states the child fell from his horse. The patient is responsive upon arrival. Patient is highly agitated. The father was asked to provide information concerning child's history. He refused to answer questions. The father became increasingly aggressive towards the staff and the child. He was removed from the ER by security.**_

_**Valium was administered to the child to calm him down. The child became compliant with answering questions. His since of inhibition is gone as a result of the medication. **_

_**I know this is not the place for this but I must make a personal note her for future reference. The tale this child told of his injuries this evening and in the past are consistent with long term abuse like none I have ever heard before. Today's beating was the result of a "B" on his report card. **_

_**The police have been notified but upon hearing who the child is they refuse to press charges. Shortly thereafter a court order was received and the child was released to the care of Dr. C. Recker. **_

_**Injuries noted on physical exam are as follows:**_

_**A sprained wrist, elbow and shoulder on the right side. Bruising noted to the thorax, anterior and posterior. **_

_**Old bruising and scars noted to the posterior legs - consistent with a belt.**_

****************NCIS****************

_**EXHIBIT 16**_

_**Child Abuse Case - 016784**_

_**Notes: Dr. Samuels**_

_**Aug. 1, 1987 - A 12 year old white male presented to the ER with multiple traumatic injuries. The child was back boarded, c-collared and IV established by EMS personnel. The patient has no family present. Police have placed child under protective custody and have authorized treatment.**_

_**Primary examination noted obvious deformity to bilateral lower extremities, right shoulder dislocation, contusion to left occipital lobe, superficial lacerations to the face and torso, and hematoma to the right orbit. Abdomen is rigid. Patient was diagnosed with a minor concussion.**_

_**Patient was intubated, catheter placed and labs drawn. Patient was taken to surgery immediately to stop internal bleeding.**_

_**Surgical notes: The child had a laceration to the liver. Lac was sutured, peritoneal lavage performed to prevent peritonitis. No other bleeding noted. **_

_**Post Op Notes: The patient had difficulty following surgery. Patient had an allergic reaction to sedation. Dehydration ensued as a result of vomiting. **_

_**5 days post op the child has been upgraded and moved to a private room. The child has been alert and oriented and able to provide personal information. A review of the child's records denotes long term abuse. **_

_**The police have notified the father. He was unable to breakaway from his schedule and has sent his assistant to collect his son. A court order was received but an injunction was permitted. The injunction is in place until such time as Dr. Bernard releases the patient from his care. The child should not be moved for a minimum of 5 days. **_

_**10 days post op. The patient will be released to the care of Dr. C. Recker. The father has not been present and no further contact has been made by the assistant.**_

****************NCIS****************

Ziva was very concerned about this child. She had not understood why she was forced to deal with a cold case of child abuse but hoped to find the answers to this latest exercise of the Director's. She had only one exhibit remaining. This was the summary page from the original investigator.

****************NCIS****************

_**EXHIBIT 17**_

_**Summary**_

_**The child in question was disowned by his father upon his return home in August of 1987. He was sent off to boarding school and has had no contact with his father since that time. There are no other living relatives. **_

_**The child remained at military academy until he entered Senior High. He remained in good health. His mental development has been normal. He has had no difficulties in school and has maintained exceptional scores in all classes.**_

_**His college career was exemplary. Though his major was physical education his minor was in criminal psychology. His 3.9 GPA maintained his scholarships and kept him on the Dean's / President's list throughout his 4 years. His senior year he was injured during a football game. He was unable to participate in football thereafter.**_

_**After his injury he concentrated more on his academics and went on to get a second degree in criminology. He entered the police academy 2 months after his graduation. His first six years were spent with three different police agencies. He excelled at each agency and was requested to join NCIS after a joint operation with NCIS and Baltimore PD. **_

_**During the course of his career with NCIS he has received 3 Medals of Valor, 2 Meritorious Awards and multiple Citizen Citations. His accomplishments have included being number 1 consistently on the shooting range and during rapid fire testing. His evaluation scores have ranked in the top 1% of the agency. **_

_**His exceptional skills as an investigator were the basis upon which he was offered his own team in Rotta, Spain. The return of Special Agent Gibbs was the cause for his turning down the position. His reasoning was to give Agent Gibbs time to settle back into his team. He stated he was happy at this time "watching his six." **_

****************NCIS****************

Ziva called to the Director's office to check out for the day. It was now 30 minutes pass her check out time. She had been so lost in the "case" that the time had gotten away from her.

The Director agreed and bid her a goodnight. Ziva wasn't sure what kind of night it was going to be but good wasn't it.

****************NCIS****************

Sitting in her apartment Ziva looked back on her day. Ziva could not believe what she had read. The longer she considered the file and facts concerning Tony the more horrible she felt about her treatment of him. To think he had grown up in such… She didn't even want to think about it. As she had read and re-read the file she felt a great deal of shame wash over her.

Her father had trained her to strive to be the best. She had taken that attitude into everything she had done. Her first meeting with her new teammates did not go well by her estimation. They did not seem very intelligent. They were standoffish and refused to let her sit at a desk because it had been Kate's. She didn't understand that at all. At home death was not something you were allowed to morn. Someone died…you moved on…you moved up.

Now as she looked back on Tony's behavior she could see the many times she had wronged him. His reaction to not being invited to dinner…to his interest in Jean. He looked upon NCIS as his family. His file explained why he felt so close to these people, why he considered them his family. She had tried to destroy that with her every move. Intentional or not she now realized how wrong she had been.

Her decision was made. She would work hard to do what needed to be done. She wanted to make it up to Tony. She now knew how wrong she had been. She realized she had not given him or Tim a chance. She had made presumptions and never looked beyond that to see what was really there. Some investigator she was… Tony had played the ultimate game of undercover and she had never realized it. Instead of being proud of his accomplishment she had been angry.

Looking back it wasn't anger she had felt. She had been jealous. She had thought she was better trained than them. But after Tony's undercover op she realized he was better. He had fooled them all for 5 months.

****************NCIS****************


	13. Chapter 13

**Tony was happy to get out of the car. He needed to move. He needed to find a few moments to himself. He wasn't sure if Gibbs would allow it but he hoped he would. "Gibbs…Boss…co…could I just have a few minutes to myself? I'd just like to go over to the park for a few minutes. Would that be alright?"**

**Gibbs looked at Tony for a moment. "Sure, do you want me to order you something?"**

**Tony smiled. Gibbs was being supportive. "Thanks. Why don't you just get me a burger and fries. I'll be there in 10." He turned to head to the park before anything else was said.**

******************NCIS******************

**Gibbs watched as Tony made his way to the park. He was able to get around better now. The ribs had healed enough to not cause as many problems. A cane replaced the crutches which helped with his wrist still in a cast.**

**As he turned to enter the restaurant he thought about his relationship with his father. They hadn't spoken in years but then a case brought them back together. He knew he should have gone back years ago to make amends. It had been too long, he had been to stubborn to admit he was wrong.**

**Now as he watched Tony amble through the park he wondered if he hadn't done the same thing with Tony. He had been concerned about having Tony around his father. Not because of the questions that were inevitable but because of his relationship with his father. They had been close when he was a kid. He was certain they would be able to rekindle their relationship.**

**He wanted to have that kind of relationship with Tony. This trip was meant to do so much. His desire was to draw Tony out, to get him to open up. He was hoping to accomplish this by getting away from it all. No more of the big city noise or any NCIS business to get in the way. **

******************NCIS******************

**Tony walked into the restaurant and sat without a word. He was still trying to figure out what was going on. He needed to understand what he was feeling. He didn't know how to deal with all of this. He had never had this type of relationship with his father. He hadn't even had a close relationship with his mother.**

**As a child he always felt like an inconvenience. His parents paraded him around in front of their friends. His mother dressed him in sailor suits and his father made him the pooh boy. When he wasn't on parade he was shunned, punished or just forgotten. He never understood why things happened the way they did…he had always assumed it was because he had done something wrong.**

**Gibbs didn't say anything. He sat patiently waiting for Tony to speak up. "Gibbs, what are we doing? I need to understand. I…I…I'm at a loss here. I don't know what the rules are anymore. What do you want from me? What am I suppose to do?" He never looked up to see Gibbs reaction. He was too ashamed to admit he felt off balanced in this situation.**

"**Tony, I don't want anything from you. I don't expect anything from you." Gibbs stopped to think about what he was saying. "We've talked so much over the last few weeks. I have come to realize a lot. You bring out a part of me that has laid dormant since Kelly was taken from me. I want to protect you, to love you as if you were my own. I want to give to you what your parents didn't. I don't know what their problem was but they were fools. How anyone could have done that to an innocent child is beyond me. But to think of them doing it to you…You'll never know how proud of you I am. You had every right to snub your nose at everything and everyone. But you didn't…you are a kind, intelligent, gifted man. Your parents had no idea what a gift they were throwing away."**

**He waited a moment but Tony didn't respond. "Tony, I know I am not your father. I know I can never undo what your parents did to you. But I would love the chance at being a father again. You remind me so much of Kelly. Even asking me if we are there yet." He smiled and shook his head. "I thought that chance was taken away from me forever. I never thought I would allow myself to open up to someone like that again. But I was wrong. You wedged your way into my heart. You took up residence in my mind and in my soul. You have become my family and gave me the ability to open up again. You gave me the chance to open up to my dad. That's what I want to be for you. Not a father…all formal and pushing you. I want to be a dad to you…to support you and love you…unconditionally."**

**Tony was crying when Gibbs finished. He would have felt embarrassed if Gibbs hadn't been crying as well. "I…I…think I would like that. You've been closer to me than anyone. It makes it that much harder when things happen."**

"**Tony, it won't be easy for either of us. I am out of practice and you are brand new to all of this. But what do you say, will you give me a chance? Will you let me try to be a dad to you?"**

"**I guess…we could try. I was pretty much a failure…" Tony wasn't given the opportunity to finish that sentence. Tony felt the hand coming towards his head this was all too familiar. But he didn't get a head slap, instead he felt the hand ruffle his hair and remain there.**

"**No more of that…the past is the past. You have never been a failure. Your parents failed you, not the other way around. Both of us are starting over as of right now. We will learn together." Tony looked into his eyes and saw the truth in what he said. For the first time in weeks he started to relax.**

"**Together…that sounds great to me. So where are we headed anyway?"**

"**It's a surprise!" Gibbs laughed at the indignant look on Tony's face. "I rented a cabin for us in the mountains. We are going to relax and maybe do a little fishing. Whatever you want to do as long as it involves relaxing."**

"**I didn't pack anything. Can we stop at a book store? I would love to get something to read. I haven't read a good book in awhile."**

"**Sounds good to me. Maybe I'll see what they have of interest to me." **

**He knew it wasn't going to be that easy but it was a start. He had already decided they weren't going back until they had everything worked out. At lease it seemed as though they were starting out on the right foot.**

******************NCIS******************

**The rest of the trip was spent talking and joking around. Tony was relaxing. It had taken some time but finally he was relaxing. They stopped again a couple of hours later. Gibbs knew they wouldn't get in until late at this rate. But it was necessary to stop for Tony. He needed to get out and move around. If he didn't his muscles would cramp and spasm. **

**On the second stop Tony took his pain pills. He hadn't wanted to take them but Gibbs wouldn't hear of it. He could see the lines of pain in Tony's face.**

******************NCIS******************

**When they finally pulled into the cabin Tony had been sleeping deeply for an hour. Gibbs opened the cabin and took the bags inside. The place was great. He and Tony were going to love it. It offered the peace they both so desperately needed.**

**He slowly opened the door on Tony's side. "Tony…time to wake up. Hey DiNozzo…we're here. Come on wake up so you can sleep inside."**

**It didn't appear Tony was going to fully wake up. He leaned heavily on Gibbs to get in the house. Gibbs had the bed ready for him. Gibbs tucked him into bed and then wrote a note.**

"**Tony**

**Went to town to get supplies. Be back by 2200. Call if you need something. I'll look for a book store while I'm in town.**

**Gibbs"**

******************NCIS******************

**The town was quaint. He found a general store and purchased everything he thought they would need for the week. He even picked up some of Tony's junk food.**

**The drive was peaceful. It gave him a moment to think. God, but things had changed in the past few weeks. It seemed the only time he ever prayed anymore he was praying for Tony. **_**God, please help him. Help us to get this worked out.**_

**During the quiet of the past couple of hours he had made a decision. If Tony choose not to return to NCIS, he would leave. He didn't want to work without Tony on his six.**

******************NCIS******************


	14. Chapter 14

_Sorry about the delay. I have had this chapter done but wanted to re-work it. I should have another chapter up soon. As always, I do not own these characters, I write for entertainment and not for profit._

****************NCIS****************

When Gibbs returned from the store he found Tony fast asleep. He hadn't the heart to wake him up. Tony was in dire need of sleep, exhaustion was a detriment to his recovery. Gibbs watched as Tony slept. He looked even younger when he slept and had a sense of peace. Gibbs smiled, he wanted to see that relaxed look when Tony was awake as well.

****************NCIS****************

The weeks passed with no word from Gibbs. McGee had hoped he would have called to let them know how Tony was doing. As his conscience had returned so to had his concern for his friend. What he had done and how he had behaved plagued him daily while awake and in his sleep.

Abby had barely acknowledged he was alive the first couple of weeks. Then she was cold but refused to forgive him. Now, five weeks after the accident Tim couldn't take it anymore. He needed to find out how Tony was doing. He assumed Abby would have kept in touch with Gibbs. He was preparing to set off for the next two weeks for the next phase of his re-training.

The director had called him to her office.

****************NCIS****************

"Tim, have a seat." The director had not spoken to him for the past month except to give him his orders. "You will be leaving for Kids Camp on Sunday. You will be assigned as a counselor for the next two weeks. Ziva will be at the camp as well. I expect the two of you to behave."

****************NCIS****************

Tim made his way to the lab. He hoped to talk to Abby before he left. He wanted, no needed, to know about Tony. Not knowing was eating at him. He had asked Gibbs to talk to Tony, he hadn't heard anything yet.

The music was loud but Tim wasn't about to say anything. "Abby." He yelled out from the doorway. "Abby…can we talk…please."

"Tim…I'm busy." Her anger had not abated in the weeks since Gibbs and Tony had left town. Not have them around had put her on edge. She spoke with Gibbs every other day. She knew Tony was healing, she knew he needed time but she hadn't had her Tony fix in weeks. Her brother was missing from her life. She wanted him back.

"Please Abby… I need to talk to you. Please."

"You have five minutes. But I don't want to hear one word out of you about Gibbs or Tony." She couldn't stand the thought of hearing Tim whine about his 'unfair treatment' in light of what he had done.

"But Abby…I just want to know how Tony is doing? Have you talked to him?" He looked sincere but Abby didn't want to trust him. He had done too much to allow him off the hook yet. She hadn't even talked to Tony to see how he felt.

"I don't know. I haven't talked to Tony since he left. And why did he and Gibbs have to leave? Oh, that's right it was because of you and Ziva, that's why they left. Now leave…your five minutes are up." Abby turned her back and turned the music up louder to tune out Tim. This whole thing hurt her as well. She too had been a jerk to Tony but that was in the past. She and Tony had made amends long before all of this started.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva had shown up for work early and worked late every day. She was trying to make up for what she had done. After reading about Tony she had thought back to everything they had been through together as a team. She thought about the times she had teased Tony…and more importantly how he had reacted. The glimpses of hurt and pain on his face weren't figments of her imagination. DiNozzo had feelings. She hadn't wanted to believe that before now. She wanted to think of him as the callous, self-centered ass he portrayed himself to be.

Her childhood had been difficult but she had never experienced the torment Tony had, she had always known her parents loved her. They were strict and unemotional but they had shown love the only way their culture allowed. Tony deserved to feel that kind of love. She wished for a way to make it up to him but…but…but How many times had she thought about what she had done, what she should do and not thought about but…

But… There was no way to fix his childhood. There was no way to take back the hurt she had caused him. There was not way to make this right.

****************NCIS****************

Sunday morning brought Ziva and Tim together for the first time in weeks. She knew it was going to be difficult. They hadn't seen or spoken to each other since their suspension. The drive to the Kid's Camp was two hours. She assumed it was going to be a long drive.

****************NCIS****************

Tim didn't want to go back to the way he had been when he was friendly with Ziva. He didn't want to go back to not being true to himself. He wanted to distance himself from her. He refused to allow her close for fear of not being strong enough to argue against her negativity.

****************NCIS****************

The drive was silent. The only noise in the car was from the radio. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife and neither of them knew how to combat it.

"Tim," she sounded tentative. Tim was shocked, never had he thought Ziva could sound so unsure of herself.

"Ziva…I don't want to hear any more Gibbs or Tony bashing. I've thought a lot over the last few weeks. I don't want to be the person I was…I want to be the person I have always known my self to be…the person my parents raised me to be."

"I too have done a great deal of thinking. I now realize I was wrong. I do not know if I will be allowed to be back on the team. I will do by best to tell this to Tony when he returns. Until then I would like to apologize to you. I have done you a great disservice in my behavior. I should not have tried to make you dislike Tony. I should not have.. I should have not thought much of myself and looked at Tony for who he really is. I am sorry, I did not see what was in front of me."

"That's real nice Ziva. I don't know if I can believe you but I guess that's why we are being reassigned for the next few weeks." She had sounded sincere but could she really have done such a complete turn-around in just a few weeks. Then again, hadn't he…

****************NCIS****************


	15. Chapter 15

****************NCIS****************

With each passing day Tony grew stronger. The twinges of pain from his injuries lessened until one morning he awoke without any pain. Now the rest of the healing needed to take place.

Tony awoke early and moved on to the back porch. The cabin was more than he could have dreamed. A log cabin with plenty of space. The wrap around porch gave him a great view of the forest. He couldn't see the river through the trees but he loved the sound of the water running down the hill side.

The longer he sat the more he wanted to get out into the environment. He hoped he could talk Gibbs into letting him go hiking.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs stood looking down on Tony as he sat on the back porch. It had been a long few weeks. He hated to see Tony in pain. He hated knowing he had been a part of what caused him pain. Tony was the son he never had; now he wanted to give to Tony what Tony had given to him.

When he had first met Tony his heart was closed to loving anyone ever again. His marriage to wife number four had ended poorly. His heart had never healed from losing Shannon and Kelly. He didn't want to care…he didn't want to love again. He had decided to close himself off from the world. He didn't want to hurt anyone else and he didn't want to be hurt himself.

But then he was assigned a case in Baltimore. He arrived to find a sarcastic, showboat detective that was more concerned about having fun than solving a murder. He didn't appear to be focused on his job or to take anything seriously. Then he got hurt.

Gibbs could see the lines of pain in his face and suddenly the brash, sarcastic man changed. He tried to hide his injury. His insecurities, his fear of being hurt shown through and in that moment Gibbs felt a piece of his heart break.

For reasons all his own, Tony had done the same thing as him. He felt anger towards whoever had hurt this young man. He knew that type of pain and didn't want to see someone else go through it.

At the hospital Gibbs saw Tony transform. It was due to the pain meds but Gibbs was able to see past the false face Tony hid behind. What he found was a caring intelligent young man. His heart melted a little more.

Now as he watched Tony sit and drink his coffee he was again reminded to the young man who opened his heart and made him begin to really live again.

****************NCIS****************

He had been sitting on the porch for about 30 minutes when Gibbs came out to join him. He smiled as his friend, his dad? joined him. It was still hard for him to think of Gibbs as a dad. Dad…he'd never had a dad before. He wasn't sure what it meant to have a dad and a family that cared about him.

He thought back to Baltimore. _God, my life has changed so much. I…I have found my family. This man second b for … he's always been a dad to me. Even back in Baltimore he showed me more love than my father ever did._

"Whatca' thinkin' Tony?" Gibbs smile at the relaxed figure in the chair next to him.

"I was just… I…" He shook his head not even knowing how to say what was on his mind. He wanted to tell Gibbs what he thought. He wanted to admit to how he felt about this man before him.

The hesitation brought a look of concern from Gibbs. "Tony are you alright? Are you in pain? Can I get you something?"

Tony laughed as he cried. He felt like he was an emotional wreck. "I'm sorry." Before he could continue Gibbs was kneeling by his side with one hand resting on Tony's arm. Tony continued to cry. He placed his hand on Gibbs hand. "I'm sorry. I am…happy. You…you have shown me more concern just now then my father has in my entire life." He tried to get himself back together. He took a sip of coffee and tried to figure out how to start again. "I was just thinking about Baltimore."

Gibbs snorted. "I guess great minds think alike. I was too."

Tony chuckled at that, "I remember when I first met you. God…you were such a … but then I started watching you. You were so focused on the case and finding the killer that I didn't think you even knew I was there. I…When I got hurt…I didn't figure I'd see you again. I wasn't prepared to see you sitting in my room when I woke up from surgery. My father…well he may have put me in the hospital but he sure as hell never visited me there. But you…there was no yelling. You didn't tell me I was an idiot for getting hurt. The first this you said to me was 'easy Tony, you're going to be okay. Do you need anything for the pain?' I was so floored. No one had ever asked if I was ok, much yet if I had needed something."

The anger in Gibbs grew. He had picked up on various pieces of conversations through the years and he had seen the scars. The more he heard the angrier he became, not at Tony but at those _people_ who called themselves his family.

Tony was looking at Gibbs, he saw the change. He thought Gibbs was mad at him. After all that was what he was used to. "I'm sorry. I didn…"

Reaching up and putting his hand on the back of Tony's head Gibbs realized what had just happened. "No Tony. I am sorry. I get so… so angry when I hear about your life before you came to NCIS. I hate what those people did to you. How can anyone call themselves a parent but not love their child? You have grown up to be an intelligent, caring and forgiving man that any father should be proud of…I'm damned proud of you. You have never done anything to disappoint me. The fact that you did this on your own just makes me even more proud to know you. You have NOTHING to be sorry about. But I do…I want to apologize again for being such a …"

"NO… Boss…Gibbs…" Shyly looking at the deck he almost whispered "Dad." Before he could say anything further Gibbs reached over and hugged Tony. The tears flowed again. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Absolutely nothing. You are perfect. Tony…look at me." Gibbs had to lift Tony's head to be able to look into his red, swollen, bloodshot eyes. The tears were still streaming down his face. "Tony…Son, there is nothing wrong with showing how you feel to your family. There is nothing wrong with shedding tears."

" M My f f father always said m m men d d don'ttt cry. Wh when m m my moth mother d died he he…he locked me in my room. When he he came b back h he … I was only 8. I co couldn't…" He cried harder. He cried for the mother he no longer had, for the fear of his father, for the life he could have had.

"Easy son. It's alright. I've got you." Gibbs continued to murmur soft words of encouragement while he held and rocked his son.

****************NCIS****************

Tim and Ziva had spent the first week at Kids Camp getting to know their team, their kids. This week had been special needs kids. Some had become handicapped as a result of injuries, while others were born with medical issues. The two of them had learned a lot about patience and understanding. They had learned about unconditional love.

When they had arrived they were sure what they were supposed to be able to get out of this that would help them to return to NCIS. After a week they knew. These kids had taught them to not look at the surface but to dig deeper. They learned that the innocence of a child allowed them to see the beauty around them.

The coming week would offer new challenges. This was the week the children came from broken homes. These were the children who would need more patience and understanding. They were kids dealing with anger issues.

Ziva felt after recent event she could handle these children. Tim wasn't so sure. He didn't understand. He still wanted to believe in an Ozzie and Harriet childhood. He didn't want to think of the darkness that some kids found themselves in. He knew this week was going to be more challenging for him

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs sat hold Tony for an hour after he had cried himself to sleep. He hated what all of this was doing to Tony. He knew he needed to do something to re-build his son. He needed help.

Gibbs turned to ease Tony onto the chair. Fortunately Tony didn't awaken. Slowly he made his way into the cabin. He knew there was only one person to call.

"Hello… I need your help… It's Tony… I don't know what to do to help him but I figured you would know. … We aren't in DC. I rented a cabin. We're staying in Gatlinburg Tennessee. … Thanks… I'll see you Saturday. Thanks … I really need your help."

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs poured himself another cup of coffee before he rejoined Tony on the porch. He eased a chair over to be by Tony's side. He placed a hand on Tony's shoulder. He wanted to keep the contact between he and his son. He thought they both needed it.

****************NCIS****************

Tony felt the comfort of the hand on his shoulder. He didn't want to wake up. He was embarrassed and didn't want to face Gibbs. _Dad, how could I have called him dad. He told me I could never be a substitute for Kelly and then I turn around and call him dad._

Gibbs could feel the change in Tony, he had become more tense. _I knew he would be embarrassed. I need for him to understand that everything is going to be alright. I hope he doesn't regret calling me dad. It's been a long time but I kind of like it._

"Tony, I know you're awake. I'll get you some coffee. I think we need to talk." Tony tensed further. "It's going to be a good talk. Just relax. I'll be right back." He headed off for the coffee and made it just the way Tony liked it.

"Tony, I want to talk to you about our conversation earlier." Tony started to get up but Gibbs stopped him with a squeeze to his shoulder. "You know it's been a long time since anyone has called me dad. I can't believe how good it felt to hear you call me that."

"I…never called anyone dad before…Father never allowed it."

"I know he's the one that is related to you by blood. But I hope the bond we share is stronger than that. We've been through life and death together."

Tony wanted to change the subject. He didn't feel up to continuing it. "Can we go for a hike? I feel great and just want to get out and do something."

"Sure Tony. But only a short one. I don't want you to overexert yourself the first day you're feeling better. How about we eat a light lunch and then head out for a little while?"

"That sounds great. Thanks."

****************NCIS****************


	16. Chapter 16

**I would like to apologize for the long delay in updates. I have had to deal with some family issues but I am back and should have updates more regularly. **

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs was looking forward to the hike. He knew they wouldn't be able to go far because of Tony's health but he thought it would be good for them both.

"Are you ready to go?" Tony was excited about his first venture out.

Gibbs smiled. Tony was acting like a little kid on the first day of summer. "Sure son, let's go." He wasn't doing it deliberately but calling Tony son was beginning to come natural to him. "You better grab a jacket though it's a little chilly out."

Tony shook his head. Gibbs really did sound like a dad. It made him feel warm inside. Without saying a word he went in and got his and Gibbs jackets. He couldn't wait to get going.

****************NCIS****************

The walk was doing them both good. The fresh air and the scenery helped them both to relax. They had only been gone for 30 minutes when Tony's steps started to falter.

"Do you think we could sit for a little bit?" Gibbs knew he would have to be the one to sit if he was ever going to get Tony to stop.

"Sure. I could use a break, thanks."

A fallen tree acted as a bench for both of them. Tony eased himself down onto the tree. He was tired. God was he tired. He couldn't believe how exhausted he was after only a short walk. He had felt better but now he didn't know if he had the energy to return. Everything hurt again.

Gibbs noticed the lines of pain on Tony's face. "Do you want to head back?"

"Yes. But not just yet. I don't think I could make it even if I tried right now." Tony's unusual candor struck a nerve with Gibbs. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Tony finally spoke. "God Dad I hurt."

"Just take it easy for a moment. I'll help you. We'll just take it slow and easy to get back. Did you bring any of your pills with you?" Tony just shook his head no. "No problem. We'll do it together."

****************NCIS****************

Tim and Ziva prepared to meet their new campers. They were aware that these kids had been taken from their homes and in some circumstances had been in state custody for any number of reasons. The last week had taught them a lot about compassion. This week would challenge them to have patience and compassion for kids who would not be so willing to accept it.

As the bus approached Tim found his stomach starting to do flip flops. Ziva on the other hand appeared to be as cold as ever. She knew this would be different but she believed this was a waste of time for her. She knew hardship as a child. In her opinion these kids had nothing on her when it came to pain and suffering.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs was taken aback by the unadulterated candor Tony had shown by admitting he was in pain. He knew he needed to get Tony back before this jaunt hampered his recovery. "Tony, are you ready to start back?"

"I guess. Not like I can stay here." Gibbs stood before him offering him an assist up. Tony latched onto the hand and was gently pulled to his feet. When he started to sway he found himself being held up by Gibbs.

The trek back to the cabin took longer than expected. Tony was in pain and exhausted. Gibbs was holding more and more of Tony's weight. As they approached the cabin Gibbs saw a new rental car in the drive. He knew help had arrived. He needed it as much as Tony.

****************NCIS****************

Jackson Gibbs had let himself into the cabin and stowed his gear. He wondered where his boy had gotten himself off to knowing Tony was in poor shape. Once his gear was stowed he made his way out onto the deck. The area was beautiful and reminded him of home. He understood why Jethro had chosen this location.

He was starting to become concerned when he saw Jethro and Tony break through the tree line. It took only a moment to realize they were in trouble.

****************NCIS****************

"You're doing great Tony. It's not too much further. Come on son; let's get you back and in bed."

"D…dad…can't." Lines of pained etched his face. He knew he was going to be in trouble. He had pushed it too hard and knew he would be punished. "S…sor…ry"

"Let's stop for a moment." Gibbs was becoming more concerned with each passing minute. Tony was in pain and would need to be seen by a doctor as soon as possible. He pulled out his cell and called Ducky.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs didn't wait for Ducky to even say hello. As soon as the first syllable was spoken Gibbs jumped in. "Duck, Tony needs you." He explained the situation and where they were located.

"Oh, dear. I will be there by shortly. Call me with any changes. Give him his medications and get him in bed. He doesn't need to be up and about. He needs rest."

"I know Duck. He was doing better and wanted to go out for a little walk. We went too far. See you soon." With that he hung up the phone.

Tony was too consumed with pain and exhaustion to pay attention. He didn't know Gibbs had called Duck and he hadn't seen Jackson approach. "Son, what's going on? Do you need some help?"

"Dad, thank God you are here. Can you help me get Tony back to the cabin?" Gibbs felt some of the weight come off him. He knew he would get the help he needed. But more importantly he knew Tony would get the help he needed from Jackson and Duck.

Jackson took one look at Tony and realized both he and Jethro needed to get back to the cabin. "Tony…son?" Tony made no response. He was out on his feet. Jackson leaned down and picked Tony up to carry him back.

"Dad?" Gibbs started to object. He didn't want his father to get hurt. "Jethro…this boy is too thin. He's light as a feather. You are going to tell me about all of this, aren't you?"

"Yes, sir. Let's get him back and then we can talk. Duck is on his way here."


	17. Chapter 17

_Again I do not own these characters. This is for pleasure and not for profit. _

_Thank you all for your kind reviews and for sticking with me for this story._

****************NCIS****************

By Wednesday Ziva had had enough. The girls that were assigned to her cabin were horrible creatures. She believed they had been raised by animals. They had no respect for her, their parents or themselves. She had tried to work with them. She had tried to order them. She had tried to understand but nothing had worked. They were undisciplined and uncooperative.

The afternoon looked to be promising. They were scheduled to participate in a hike. Ziva hoped this would help. She hoped she could get them to work together maybe then she could make a little head way with them.

The other benefit to the walk would be working with Tim again. They were to combine teams for the afternoon. She hadn't had a chance to talk to him since the new campers had arrived. She assumed he was having as difficult a time as she was with her team.

****************NCIS****************

Tim and his boys were looking forward to the hike. They had had a great couple of days. Their initial meeting had been rough but Tim had stepped up to the plate and talked to each member of the team. He wanted to know them. He wanted to know why they were here. He wanted to know what he could do for them.

The four members of his team had all been removed from their homes because of abuse. He had worked many cases dealing with neglect and physical abuse. He didn't understand it but had researched it so he would have a better idea of how to deal with the victims.

These boys were good kids that needed someone to show they cared. That was something Tim could do for them. He had had a great childhood and had never understood how some kids were forced to live in terror. For him, he wanted to give them one week where someone cared about them. He knew it wouldn't change their lives…but then again maybe it would. Maybe it would show them that there were people out their that actually cared.

****************NCIS****************

Tony had fallen into an uneasy sleep. He groaned and grimaced with every move he made. The pain medication didn't seem to be working. His face was still etched with pain.

Jethro approached the bed and placed the back of his hand on Tony's forehead. He was hot. Making his way to the kitchen Jethro knew he needed to cool his boy off. He needed his fever to be lowered. He needed his son to be alright.

An hour later Jethro exited the room. Tony's fever had broken and he was now resting comfortably. He needed to talk to his dad and explain what had happened. He found Jackson sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace.

Jethro hesitated to tell Jackson everything that was going on and how he was feeling. But soon he found himself talking more openly than he ever had before. Jackson sat and listened. He was amazed at the change in his son. He reminded him more and more of his mother as he continued to talk.

"So…I guess I need to know…what do you think about being a grandpa to Tony?" He laid all his cards on the table. He wanted his father to participate but he wasn't sure he wanted to him around if he couldn't accept Tony into the family.

"Son…must people don't get a choice in being a grandpa. I accepted him into my heart a long time ago. I could see what he meant to you and vice versa. What I couldn't understand was how you and he had never gotten the courage up to say it out loud."

"That's the longest speech I've heard from you since I wrecked your car when I was 14."

"Well…don't get use to it."

Both men laughed. The knock at the door interrupted them. Jethro got up to answer it.

****************NCIS****************

The drive had been long but he had appreciated the company. As soon as Abby had heard he was going to visit Tony, she wasn't going to let him go without her. Ducky was concerned about this latest turn of events for young Anthony. Anthony had not fully recovered and now appeared to be sick.

Anthony had suffered numerous injuries but his physical state was not completely a result of the accident. His weight loss could be attributed to his previous assignment. He had slowly withdrawn from everyone and everything until no one had noticed what was happening to him.

****************NCIS****************

The hike had started out without any problems. The agents were able to mix their groups and although Ziva's girls were rougher than his boys, Tim thought he could handle them. The hike had been preset by the camp officials. Their route would take them deeper into the woods and then to the stream. They followed the stream until they reached the caves.

Caves…Tim should have known better. Everything had worked out fine up until now. But he had a feeling in the pit of his stomach. Looking around he could discern no reason for him to feel as such. The cave was marked with a rope. They entered and followed to the antechamber. The light coming through the "roof" allowed enough light for them to see. They set up on the rock to have a peaceful late lunch.

Clouds started to roll in and the darkness descended upon the cave. They could hear the falling rain and decided to stay where they were. _Surely it is better to be in here than out there in the elements. _Tim couldn't imagine walking back through the woods in such a down pour. Little did he know that staying safe could get him killed.

****************NCIS****************

Jethro found himself with an arm full of Abby. "It's good to see you too, Abby."

"Why haven't you called? How is Tony? How are you? What have you been doing? What's wrong with Tony? Gibbs…" Abby was wrapped up in emotions and adrenaline.

"Abby, settle down." Gibbs was worried about Tony's reaction. He could handle Abby on a good day but he hadn't had many good days recently. A clingy Abby could cause Tony to slip back; Gibbs wasn't going to see that happen. In a harsher voice than he ever used on Abby, Gibbs tried to get her to relax. "If you don't settle down you are not coming in here. Do you understand?"

Abby immediately released Gibbs. She was not use to his anger being directed at her. Others were always on the receiving end of his attitude but never her. Her brow wrinkled as she tilted her head to the side. She didn't know this Gibbs. His protective instinct had always included her but now…she wasn't so sure. "I…I…"

"Abby, Tony can't take you right now…like this. He's been through a lot. You are going to have to calm down and listen." Gibbs thought long and hard about what to say to her next. _I don't know that this was a good idea for her to come here._ "You are going to have to play this one out by his rules."

"I will. I understand. It's been hard on all of us." Abby immediately understood that Gibbs was just looking out for Tony. He wasn't going to let anyone hurt Tony again.

Talking as he escorted his two friends in, "Ducky, Tony is upstairs. He's sleeping now. He was finally out of pain. He just wanted to go outside for a walk. We were gone too long. He started having pain. He was too weak to be out that long." Ducky could tell by Jethro's mannerisms he was feeling a lot of guilt.

"Jethro. Anthony most likely didn't know how weak he really was at the moment. You shouldn't blame yourself. I am certain he thought he could handle things."

"I should have known. Duck…" He turned to look out the window. He didn't want to talk about this at the moment. Tony was the most important person at this moment. "Duck…can you check on him. He's come a long way but this…this…"

"Where is the lad? I'll check him right away." Ducky knew there was more going on but he knew this was not the time.

"Come with me. I'll show you the way." Turning to Abby, "Why don't you go visit with Jackson while we're gone?"

****************NCIS****************


	18. Chapter 18

****************NCIS****************

The camp director called NCIS. This was not a situation he felt comfortable in doing. Everyone that had been found was air lifted to Bethesda. Never in all of his years had he had anyone in the camp be so grossly injured much less killed. He reached for the phone again but couldn't bring himself to dial. He needed another minute to gather his thoughts.

****************NCIS****************

Tony had been restless. The pain medication had caused him to sleep harder than normal. But like other times, the medication kept him asleep when he would have preferred to awaken from his dreams.

_The closet was dark but he was okay with that…darkness was safe. Unlike other children his nightmares happened in the daylight. The boogey man wore a suit and drank scotch. _

_Today he had brought home his report card. He knew he was in trouble. The B's would barely be acceptable. What scared him was the C- he had received in English. He had tried but diagramming sentences was hard for him. He had worked extra with his teacher at lunch and recess. That was how he had managed to get his score up to a C-. But this would not be acceptable. _

_He poured the drink and presented it to his father. Standing in front of the large mahogany desk wondering what wrath would befall him this time. Making his report of daily events he began to tremble. His father did not appear to be in a good mood._

"_How dare you? How dare you bring disgrace to this family? To the DiNozzo name. You are a…"_

_The yelling continued but young Tony didn't hear the words. Each sentence had been emphasized with a strike. The belt hurt as it struck him across the butt, back and legs. His crying turned to whimpering as the strikes continued to rain down upon him. _

_Eventually there was peace. A butler carried his unconscious, bruised and bleeding body to his room. The maid laid plastic on the bed before lying the child on it. Tony's father didn't like messes. Blood on the sheets was unacceptable and had previously resulted in the termination of one of the nannies. She was not about to lose her job. _

_As soon as Tony was secured on the bed, the family physician was called to take care of the problem. DiNozzo Sr. never checked on his son. He never asked how he was doing. When the doctor was preparing to leave he was presented with a check for $1000. Nothing further was said about it._

Tony squirmed and whimpered as the memory was brought to the forefront. He could not break the cycle.

****************NCIS****************

Jethro immediately noted the soft crying and jerking movements as he entered the room. Without saying a word he quickly made his way to the bed. He eased himself onto the bed. Slowly he wrapped his arms around his son and began to whisper into his ear.

"Ssshhh… Son, it's alright. You are safe. I won't let anyone hurt you." Softly he whispered but the silence of the room made the words echo into the heart of Ducky.

Duck stood back and watched. He felt warm inside. He remembered how his friend was after the death of his wife and child. He remembered how he was when for the second time after the explosion he remembered the death of his beloved family.

Now as he sat watching his friend, his heart began to melt. Jethro had finally opened his heart and showed no remorse in showing affection for his son. _His son. How long have I thought of Anthony in those terms? But that is what Anthony is for Jethro. _

****************NCIS****************

Slowly he was drawn back to the comfort of safety by the words whispered in his ear by his father. _No, _he thought, _not his father…his dad. _

****************NCIS****************

Jenny Sheppard had arrived at the camp late that evening. She didn't know what to make of the sudden deadly turn of events. She had sent her people here to learn to deal with each other, with their co-workers and to learn about hardships like they had never known before. It was one thing for her to send her people into the field knowing the dangers they could face. But to send them to camp, she had never thought that would become a deadly dance.

When she arrived at Bethesda she was escorted to the room with her agent. She was fairly certain of what she would find behind the door. She knew her agent was injured but would be alright. She needed to get to the bottom of what had happened. Before she could speak or take in all around her, her agent was talking to her.

"Madam director, it all happened so fast. One minute we were having lunch. Then…"


	19. Chapter 19

**I do not own the characters and am writing purely for entertainment.**

Thank you all for hanging in there. I appreciate all of your reviews.

****************NCIS****************

Thunder and lightening filled the air as the campers and their two NCIS counselors tried to remain calm. The hole that had once allowed the visitors to see, now allowed the rainfall and runoff to enter their safe haven.

Tim was starting to worry about his decision to remain in the cave. The water seemed to be gathering on the floor at an alarming rate. Not wanting to alarm the kids, Tim slowly approached Ziva. Quietly he spoke, "Ziva, I have a bad feeling about this. I think we need to get out of here."

"I think you are right. We need to move the children out of here and find our way back or a safer location for them."

Once agreed, they gathered the children. Ziva was in the rear as Tim tried to lead them out. The water in the cave was rising rapidly hindering their escape. The water combined with the encroaching darkness gave Tim a feeling of claustrophobia. _I need to get them out of here._

Ziva was unaccustomed to feeling this way. She was worried about the kids…and herself. The water was rising faster as they moved further out of the cave. It was becoming difficult to walk without holding onto the rope that had lead them in.

Five minutes passed but it seemed like an hour. The water was three inches deep and moving rapidly. Rocks and twigs were pelting their legs as they tried to make their way out. The whimpering of the girls was not lost on Tim or Ziva.

"Hang on tight. We shouldn't have too much further to go." Tim yelled over the roaring sounds of the storm as it echoed in the cave.

****************NCIS****************

Tony awoke to find himself being held by his dad. He felt embarrassed at first but the feeling of safety squelched that feeling. He attempted to sit up but was stopped by a firm hand holding him in place.

"Tony?" Jethro had fallen asleep but came awake suddenly at the movement beside him.

"Just needed to…ahhh…to…"

"Do you need any help getting to the bathroom?" Jethro was concerned about his son.

Now truly embarrassed he looked away as he answered. "No, I should be fine."

"'kay."

****************NCIS****************

Abby, Jackson and Ducky were sitting in the living room. They were concerned for Jethro and Tony. Abby was as subdued as Ducky had ever seen her.

"I want to know what that boy of mine and I need to do to get Tony back on his feet again and get him healthy. He's too skinny. What have you people been doing to him? How could none of you seen it?"

Ducky raised his hand up to silence Abby. "When Jethro left for Mexico, it threw everyone off kilter. The tension, stress and number of cases kept us so busy we just didn't see it. I tried to talk to Tony…but never was able to settle things down."

"That's no excuse for what I've seen. You people are suppose to care about each other. That boy up there cares about you…he wouldn't have let this happen to you. If you couldn't handle things you should have called me." Without another word, Jackson left the room. His anger was about to boil over. He didn't like to lose his temper.

Abby was sputtering, unable to bring voice to her thoughts. She had let Tony down. She knew Jackson was right. She wanted to make this up to him but the guilt weighed heavy on her heart.

Ducky too was feeling guilty. He had known Tony was not feeling up to par. Tony had been run ragged for months. His friends hadn't bothered to pay attention to him or his health. As his personal physician Ducky felt more responsibility for watching out for Tony.

Abby turned sad eyes to Ducky. "He's right. We were all so wrapped up in ourselves that we didn't pay attention to him at all. He was there for all of us…but Jeanne was the only one there for him and he couldn't really talk to her. She didn't really know him. We were suppose to be his friend."

"Anthony is strong. We assumed he was alright because that was all he would let us see. We need to be there for him now. We need to show him how much we care."

****************NCIS****************

As the storm grew with intensity so did the strength of the water increased. The kids were having difficulty walking and holding on to the rope to keep upright. It had taken over 30 minutes for them to make it this far…yet they still had not made it to the entrance.

The girls whimpering had become a dull hum mixed in with the sounds of the storm and water rushing by. The water rose quickly, much quicker than anyone could have expected. One moment they were still gathered together and walking, the next moment they were scattered as the water swept them up and carried them out of the cave. Thankfully then were near the entrance.

The screams of the girls were now mixed with the boys as they struggled to keep their heads above water. The force of the water was so great they could barely try to tread. Their bodies were washed out into the woods. Battered and bruised by being flung into the trees and rocks, Ziva lost consciousness.

Like Ziva several of the children lost consciousness. They were unable to protect themselves as they were tossed around.

****************NCIS****************

The director left the room of her agent. The story was unbelievable, and yet frighteningly rang true. The force of nature had placed her agents and the campers in danger. She made her way to the rescue operations tent. She needed to find out about her other agent and the other children.

"Dr. Mallard. I need you to report immediately to the camp site. I am afraid we are in need of your assistance."


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry about the time between chapters. In the future I will have the whole thing finished before I publish it. Thanks again for the reviews. **

****************NCIS****************

"Dr. Mallard. I need you to report immediately to the camp site. I am afraid we are in need of your assistance."

"Director, what seems to be the problem?" The concern in his voice clued Abby in to the seriousness of the call.

Abby was curious as to what was going on. The look on Ducky's face showed his deep concern for whatever was happening. As soon as Ducky was off the phone he filled her in. She felt conflicted. She wanted to be there for Tony but at the same time her other friends were in trouble and alone.

****************NCIS****************

Ducky knew he had a couple of hours before he would need to leave for the airport. He was packed and had written up a list of things for Jethro and Jackson to do to help Anthony. He had decided to take Abigail with him.

Shortly before he needed to leave Jethro exited the bedroom. "Jethro, Abigail and I will be leaving shortly. There has been an incident at the camp. The Director called and requested I come. She is sending the jet for us."

"What IN THE HELL," Jethro was trying to get a handle on things but his temper was getting the better of him. It was all a bit much to take in. Taking a deep breath he tried to decipher what was happening. "What happened at the camp?"

"Apparently Ziva and Timothy took some campers on a field trip to visit a cave. A flash flood occurred." Ducky explained the situation as well as he knew.

Gibbs looked up the stairs thinking about his team. They were split up, injured and he couldn't help any of them. He hated feeling like he couldn't do anything to help.

****************NCIS****************

Jackson and Jethro sat at the kitchen table thinking about their conversation with Ducky. Ducky had given them instructions on how to help Tony get better. He needed rest, to gain weight and love. Ducky had no doubt his young friend would get everything he needed.

"Son…I don't know what's been going on but that boy up there…" Jackson stopped for a moment trying to think of what he should say. He didn't want to upset his son but he needed to get his point across. "You need to take care of him. You've all done wrong by him. He shouldn't have been able to get into that kind of shape if you had been paying any attention to him."

"I know dad." Gibbs was ashamed of himself for what he had allowed to happen. He knew he needed to make it up to Tony and to start doing his job of being the dad Tony deserved.

****************NCIS****************

Ducky and Abby arrived at the hospital and found the director. She quickly explained what she knew before leading them to the right room. Abby was bouncing from anticipation. She needed to be there for her friends. "The kids are alright for the most part. But there has been a fatality. Dr. Mallard, I have to call the parents. One of the girls was found dead just outside the mouth of the cave. She became trapped under a log." Tears were in her eyes. She hated this part of the job. "Tim…"

****************NCIS****************

Tony awoke to find himself alone in his room. He was sore but felt better. He didn't understand what had happened. He vaguely remembered Ducky and Abby being there. But it was like a dream.

He needed to get up and go to the bathroom. As he started to move he felt the totality of his weakness. He didn't have the energy. He was frustrated. He thought he was getting better and now this…this weakness was all consuming. His attempt to get up was unsuccessful. All he managed to do was to knock his glass of water off the table next to his bed.

"Crap." he lowered himself back onto the bed. He wasn't going to be able to do this by himself. The footsteps on the stairs could already be heard.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs and Jackson were interrupted by the sound of the glass falling. Before Jackson could rise Gibbs was half way up the stairs. The parental feelings and reactions that had long been put away were now back in full force. Running up the stairs he tried to prepare himself for whatever he might find.

From the hall Gibbs could see Tony was still in the bed. The glass was broken on the floor next to the bed. "Tony." That one word conveyed both his concern and love for his son.

"I'm…'m sorry. I tried to get up but…God, I can't."

"It's okay. Need to use the bathroom?" Tony nodded, he couldn't say it out loud. He hated this feeling.

Without making a big deal of the situation Gibbs helped Tony up and made certain he didn't step on any of the broken glass. "Do you want to take a bath? It might help to soak…relax the muscles a little?"

"Sounds like a plan. Did I imagine it…or are Ducky and Abby here?"

"I called Ducky because you got sick. Abby came with him. They're gone now. Director called they had to leave before you woke up. Ducky gave us a list of instructions to help you get better. Apparently the walk in the woods was a bit too much for you. We need to take it easy."

"'kay…I'm just sick of…well, of being sick." He turned to look at Jethro. He didn't want to disappoint the man.

"Hey, give it time. Pushing it is only going to cause you to be sick longer. We don't have a time schedule. This is about getting you back on your feet." He paused, knowing he needed to combat what Tony was thinking. He was fighting against years of Tony's father and he needed to squash any remnants of his teachings. "You're sick. It's okay. You are going to get better…in time. I'm very proud of you. You need to lean on me for a while."

Tony felt warmth creeping into his very being. He knew it was a long hard road but he wanted to make that trip. Gibbs…Boss…Jethro…His dad would be there for him.


	21. Chapter 21

**I do not own the characters and am writing purely for entertainment.**

****************NCIS****************

Tony was feeling better knowing Gibbs was still with him. He fell back to sleep knowing he was safe.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs was happy to sit by his son's side while he slept if it kept him comfortable and sleeping peacefully. He was concerned about his other two-team members but his number one priority was Tony. He was not going to let Tony down again.

****************NCIS****************

Director Sheppard anxiously awaited the arrival of Ducky and Abby. She knew this was going to be tough and when they arrived, it only proved that she was correct. Abby sat with Tim while he slept. Ducky spoke with the Doctors and explained the course of treatment necessary to get Tim back on his feet.

Ziva had not been found, nor had two of the girls and one of the boys. Notification was made to the family of the girl who was killed in the flood. Search teams were deployed to the area and were making progress.

Director Sheppard was satisfied that everything that could be done was being done. She realized the situation was out of her control but hoped her agent would be returned safely.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva awoke in pain. She was not sure what was going on but within a short period of time, she remembered what had happened. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in the company of two of the campers.

"Thank God. We were afraid you wouldn't wake up."

"I am fine. Are the two of you alright?" Ziva hoped the kids were alright. She knew that if the kids were alright they would need to try to get out of here and back to safety.

It didn't take long to determine that the injuries were minor. She was certain she had a concussion but she needed to stay focused. Everything else would fall in place.

****************NCIS****************

Tony's sleep was again being interrupted by frighteningly detailed nightmares.

_He looked around the room and saw the rotting corpse. The stench was so thick it was suffocating him. He looked around again but something was wrong. He knew this place. Atlas…but Atlas wasn't here this time. He was alone. He tried to free himself from the chain that kept his tethered to the wall but had no luck. Everything that had gone right last time was going wrong now. He didn't want to believe he was going to die here but it certainly appeared that was the case. _

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs reached over to soothe his son. He wouldn't think of Tony as anything but that from now on. The ragged breathing and quick jaunting of his head was the physical evidence that Tony was having disturbing dreams. Gibbs didn't want to see his son suffer any further. He leaned further over to speak directly into his ear.

"It's alright…you're safe. Tony…wake up…you're alright." Slowly the words filtered through to Tony. It took a couple of minutes but eventually green eyes opened and stared directly into ice blue eyes. The depth of love could be felt.

"Tony…you with me now."

"Ye…yes. I…" Tony stalled but was interrupted by Gibbs. "Shhhh…take it easy. You're okay now. Slow your breathing down. That's it. You can tell me when you're ready. For now just try to relax…you're safe. I'm here…not going anywhere."

Gibbs crawled up into the bed and held Tony close to him. He remembered doing this with Kelly. It always worked for her; he hoped it would work for Tony as well. It took a few minutes but eventually Tony's breathing was back under control.

"So…sorry. I…it…was wrong. I was back in the sewer. But…I was alone. I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't get out." His breathing was starting to pick up again.

"You're safe. It was just a bad dream. I'm not leaving you. Dad's downstairs and he's not planning on going anywhere either. We're here for you. We love you." As he spoke, Tony once again relaxed. The warmth he felt filled him deep down inside. It was a warmth he had never received from his father or his mother.

"Thanks…dad. It was so real…but I know you're here for me. Thanks for that."

****************NCIS****************

It was two hours later when the search team found Ziva and the kids. They were brought to the hospital to be looked over. Ducky met Ziva in the ER and assisted with the initial exam. Ziva was bruised and had numerous lacerations from her adventure but over all she was alright. The concussion was minor but would require her to be kept in the hospital over night for observation.

Ducky reported his findings to the Director and then called Gibbs.

"Jethro. Timothy and Ziva will be alright. Minor injuries all around but given time they will be alright. What they need now is rest." Ducky was worried about his friends…his family. He wanted to have them together. He was concerned they may never be able to get together again.

"Let me know when they are ready to be released. I will arrange for a second cabin for them to recover in. I want them here but not in the same house as Tony. Not yet…"

Ducky knew this was the first step in getting them back to a sense of normalcy. They needed each other. They brought out the best in each other. They gave strength to each other. This was what they needed more than anything else.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs understood the seriousness of the situation. He needed Tony to be well. He needed his family to come back together. However, in the end, it was up to Tony if they would be a team…a family again. He would not jeopardize Tony's health. He would not violate Tony's trust.

****************NCIS****************

Jackson watched as his son paced on the porch. He didn't know what was wrong. Tony was upstairs in the shower. Now was the time to talk to Jethro and discover what was going on in his mind. He made two cups of coffee and went to the porch to be with his son. His anger towards the team was still present. His bond with Tony was greater than the others. He didn't want to see his grandson hurt again.

"Son…what's the matter? You seem upset. Is Tony…is he alright?" Every syllable was laced with concern.

"Dad, there's been an accident. Tim and Ziva are in the hospital. Ducky is with them. They are injured but not seriously. Ducky said they need to rest and recuperate." He turned to look his father in the eye. "I want to bring them here. I want to know if they are okay. But I won't do it if Tony will be hurt by it. I need to talk to him, see if it is alright for them to be here."

Jackson was about to protest on his grandsons behalf but Jethro interrupted him. "I will not have them under the same roof but nearby, in a different cabin. Dad…am I wrong for wanting to make sure they are okay?"

"No son, you are not wrong. I think in another cabin it would be alright. Just not here. I do not want to see them anywhere near Tony until he is stronger." The strength of his words were felt. Gibbs knew he was right. He had needed to have some reassurance.


	22. Chapter 22

This chapter is being reposted after an error was found by a reader. I am sorry about the confusion.

****************NCIS****************

Director Sheppard was not thrilled with her top team being out of the field for so long but she knew she had no choice in the matter. If they were ever going to return to field service they had to work out their problems. She wished she could help but knew this was up to Jethro now.

****************NCIS****************

It took a week before Ziva and Jimmy were able to travel. Abby and Ducky had stayed with them and helped in preparing them for their travel to meet up with Jethro and Anthony. They needed to be prepared not only for their own recuperation but for trying to get their team back in order.

****************NCIS****************

Tony was not ready to see his teammates but did not want to have Gibbs worry about them. Jackson watched as Tony observed the sun set. The boy had been quiet. Jethro was concerned but Tony wasn't talking to him about what was on his mind.

"Son, has he said anything to you?"

"He said they could come here but he doesn't want to see them. I don't want to add to his stress. I feel lost with him right now. I don't know what to do."

"I'll go talk to him. Maybe he'll open up to me."

"I never had the chance to be a father to an older child. I feel like I'm behind the ball all the time. His parents did so much damage. I feel like I am fighting against everything they did to him. I don't want to screw up. I'm not use to feeling…to feeling like this."

"It's normal son. God knows I have questioned myself repeatedly over the years. Should I have contacted you sooner? Could I have helped you after…? Did my own stubbornness keep me from knowing my own son? Do I have enough years left to make it up to you?" Jethro was about to interrupt but Jackson stopped him. "Son, I wasted a lot of years. I may never be able to make it up to you but I will work every day to try. But that boy…I know how you feel. It's normal. You have been thrown into an impossible situation. The troubles he has are not easily fixed but you and I both know he is worth every bit of the effort it will take to try to make it better for him. He deserves this. You deserve this. You are a good man. I wish I could say I had more to do with that than I do but I can't. You became the man you are because of me, the marines, Shannon, Kelly…and because of Tony."

Jackson didn't give Jethro to say anything. He turned and walked away. He grabbed his coffee and went to talk to his grandson.

****************NCIS****************

Ducky and Abby were looking forward to returning to the cabin. They wanted to see how Tony was doing. Ziva and Tim were quiet during the trip. Each were wrapped up in their own thoughts. They wanted to do the right thing. They wanted to be a team again.

Ziva thought about everything she had done. She knew it was going to be an uphill battle but she was prepared to do what was necessary. Tony had never deserved the treatment she had given him. She now had a better understanding of who he was and why he was the way he was…he had become a good man regardless of his upbringing. His obnoxious exterior was a wall to keep people away.

Tim too was thinking of his treatment of Tony. He hadn't meant to hurt Tony…well, not really. He wanted to hurt him but not make it last. Tony was a big kid. He appeared to never have grown up. Yet, he had moments where he showed brilliance, an understanding that was far beyond anything he was capable of.

****************NCIS****************

Jackson sat quietly on the porch next to Tony. He didn't say anything. He was content to just sit and wait. He had learned that Tony would talk when he felt ready.

The porch light came on as the son descended. Still they sat in silence.

The sound of the crickets and water filled the night. The sounds of Mother Nature filled the air and gave a calming affect to all those who were present. Jackson was looking out into the night.

"I don't know how to act. I don't have a good history to fall back on." Tony never looked over at Jackson. He spoke to the night.

"Just be yourself. You don't need to do anything to make us love you to make us want to care for you…to be here for you."

"I don't want to hurt him." He thought for a moment before he continued. "I just don't know if I am going to be able to work with them again. Being a team means having trust in each other. You have to have trust and respect. You have to have both…I just don't know if I can trust people that have no respect for me as a person much less as a team member." He turned to Jackson, "What do I do? They are going to be here and I don't know if I want to see them."

"Then don't. You are the most important person involved in all of this. Jethro and I will do anything to keep you safe. If you don't want them here then Jethro will make them leave. He told me before…he said it was up to you. He is only concerned about you and your health."

"But we are supposed to be a team."

"Only if you can trust them…I will not allow them to be a part of our team if they will not give you the respect you deserve as a federal agent or as my son. If they have a problem with this I will cut them loose. If you have a problem with them…I will cut them loose and not look back. Tony…son…you are the only one that matters to me. I want to do what I can to make you happy… safe." Tony had startled when Gibbs spoke up. Neither he nor Jackson had heard him come out onto the porch.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. Son, I love you and I will keep telling you that every day until you not only believe it but until you never forget it." With that he took Tony into a hug. His strength filled Tony's soul. "I am proud of you. I am proud to call you my son. I love you for who you are not in spite of it as you have said in the past. I know you."

Tony held on tight he wanted and needed to believe what Gibbs was saying. The longer he stood in that embrace the more he believed it. When they released it was with a new strength. He was ready to face the coming day. With his dad by his side, he was prepared to meet his teammates.

"I will meet with them…as long as you are standing by my side."


	23. Chapter 23

**I do not own the characters and am writing purely for entertainment.**

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs didn't want to jeopardize Tony's health. He choose to keep his team separated. Tony continued to improve. Jackson and Jethro helped Tony recover his strength. Daily walks, lots of sleep and good meals proved to be just what the doctor ordered.

Tony steadily improved. His weight was increasing as was his stamina. Tony was feeling stronger and his confidence was bolstered by the constant feeling of love and affection from Jethro and Jackson.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs visited his other team members daily. Ducky kept a close lookout on everyone. All members seemed to be healing. It was just a matter of time before he would see if they were able to work out their own problems.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva and Tim wanted to meet up with Tony. They each knew they had a lot to make up for but Tony wasn't ready. They talked with Gibbs and Ducky. They tried to get them to push up the meeting. They only hoped it would happen soon. They felt it was time.

****************NCIS****************

Jethro passed on the messages from Tim and Ziva. Tony listened but rarely made any comments. This had been going on for a week when finally Tony snapped.

"They STILL don't get it. This isn't about them. This is about me…you…and this team as a whole." He was frustrated. The more he heard from them…unwontedly…the more uncertain he became about meeting with them. "This is on my time frame not theirs. They had their time…"

"I'll tell Ducky to take them back to DC."

"NO DAMN IT" Tony stopped, he calmed himself down before he finished his thoughts. "Sorry dad. I don't want you to have to send them back. I want to confront them. I need to tell them how I feel."

"When?"

"Tomorrow. Give me until tomorrow."

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs and Ducky met in the early evening. They had arranged to talk privately. They did not want to talk in front of the others.

"Duck, how are they all doing?" He was still concerned about their health both physically and mentally. Tim and Ziva had had to deal with the death of a camper. They felt responsible. The fact that they were unable to help and keep the kids safe had caused them both a great deal of trouble. Each had had to kill people in the line of duty - but this was different. These were inncoent children that were left in their care. But they hadn't protected them all.

"Timothy's injuries are healing nicely, as is Ziva's. They have talked a great deal with myself and Abigail. I think they have worked through the worse of their guilt. Tony is gaining the weight he needs and seems to be improving emotionally. I believe this is a good thing for them to meet. But we will need to keep a tight control on the atmosphere. If Tony seems to be overtly stressed we will need to put an end to it."

"I understand. I don't want this to be a set back for him. If it goes south, I want you to pack and have them out of here before daybreak."

Ducky agreed. Tony was important to both of them. He was like a nephew to him. Anthony was an enigma and worth every minute it took to get to know him.

****************NCIS****************

Tony was sitting in his room. He was trying to prepare himself for the coming meeting. He wanted this to be over with. He needed to tell them everything he was thinking. Well, almost everything.

The knock on the door brought him back from his thoughts. "Come in."

"Son, I've spoken with Ducky. We can meet here tomorrow for lunch. That will give us time to talk. If Ducky or I feel it is getting out of hand he has orders to pack up and get them out of here by sundown. I'm not kidding Tony. I will not allow them to hurt you again."

Tony looked into his dad's eyes. He saw nothing but love and understanding. He thought back on his recovery. He had thought he had lost everything. But his accident had caused this…this feeling that encircled him. This sense of calm, peace and love was like none he had ever experienced before.

****************NCIS****************

Abby was not happy about the meeting. She was afraid for the health of her friends.

She had spent her time splitting it between her friends. She wanted them to all go back to the way they were but knew too much had happened. Now she just wanted them to all be alright.

****************NCIS****************


	24. Chapter 24

**I do not own the characters and am writing purely for entertainment. This will be the final chapter. Thanks for hanging in there. In the future, I will not publish until the story is finished. I am sorry for such a long delay - had family issues to deal with, sorry (oops, sign of weakness)**

****************NCIS****************

The morning came quickly. Gibbs had been awake most of the night worrying about his son. He was afraid it was too early for him to have this confrontation with the other team members. He wished he had been able to talk him out of it. Nevertheless, Tony was as stubborn as ever and refused to even consider not meeting with Tim and Ziva.

****************NCIS****************

Jackson stood watch over both his kids. He was worried about both of their's health. He knew Jethro had been under a great deal of stress. He had not been sleeping well and was starting to show signs of sleep deprivation. The dark circles under his eyes were becoming more prominent every day.

Tony was more rested and had gained some weight. His physical health was improving but his emotions were all over the map. Jackson was concerned about his wellbeing. He didn't want to see his grandson hurt again.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva and Tim were well rested in the morning. They were looking forward to meeting with Tony. They felt it was time to lay the past behind and start fresh. They didn't want to dwell on their past indiscretions. They had made up their minds to make amends with Tony.

Their time with Ducky had helped them to overcome their feelings of regret over the death of the camper. Neither of them could bare to speak her name. Their feelings of guilt consumed them at first but Ducky had been able to get through to them that it was not their fault. It would be a matter of time before they were truly able to come to grips with what had happened. Their physical injuries had been minor in comparison.

****************NCIS****************

As the time grew nearer, Tony became more anxious. He paced his room not wanting to let Gibbs or Jackson see how upset he had become at the prospect of this meeting. _Could they really change? Could I ever trust them again? Can they trust and respect me? Why can't they understand I was only following orders?_

The questions ran through his head and caused more anxiousness as time passed. Finally, he gave up. He needed to calm down before he exploded. He went in search of his dad. He wanted to go for just a short walk. He had gotten stronger over the past few weeks and wanted to get out of the cabin.

****************NCIS****************

Jethro and Jackson were quietly talking in the kitchen when Tony found them. He stood in the hall to hear what they had to say. He could tell by the tone that it was serious. He was concerned for them both and didn't want them to worry about him. He needed to get this over with while he still had the strength.

"Son…you need to get some rest before you make yourself ill."

"I'm fine." Jethro was tired but felt he needed to keep going. He needed to be there for his family. He needed to be strong.

"You know you can lean on me. I'm not going anywhere. I want to help."

Jethro looked into the dark brown eyes of his father. He found the comfort and love that had always been there for him when he was a kid. He didn't realize how much he had missed that feeling. He reached across the table and placed his hand on his father's arm. "I know and thank you."

"What can I do to help you? I don't want to see any harm come to either of you."

"Just be here for us. I just need you to have our six with this whole situation. I don't want any harm to come to that boy of mine. He deserves so much more than he's gotten from the team or me. We need to make things right."

Tony couldn't standby and watch his dad beat himself up any longer. He entered the kitchen and caught both the Gibbs men by surprise. "Dad…stop. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. I always land on my own two feet. But it helps knowing you are here for me. No one has ever been there for me before. You…you shouldn't blame yourself for any of this. It was mostly my fault. I should have come to you… to hell with the orders. I knew it was wrong. I should have done the right thing…you've taught me that."

Gibbs quickly walked to his son and enveloped him in a hug. "Tony… none of this is your fault. My anger was never meant to be at you. I was pissed that Jenny had put you in harms way. I wanted to protect you but…I couldn't. When I saw that car blow up…all I could think about was that I had never told you what you meant to me. I couldn't have lost another child and been able to go on. It was hard enough losing Kelly. I can't stand the idea of losing you."

"You didn't. I'm right here."

"Are you sure you are ready for this?"

"With you and grandpa by my side how could I not be? I guess I…" He was hesitant to say what was on his mind. He didn't know if Gibbs was willing to let the others know about the change in their relationship.

"What, Tony, what is it? Obviously, something is bothering you. Please let us help."

Tony turned to look at Jackson. He didn't know what to say. They both meant so much to him. He didn't want to destroy what he had just found. Jackson looked at Tony and a light went on for him. Tony was afraid of what the team would think about him calling Jethro dad.

"Tony, does this have anything to do with our conversation the other night." Tony nodded and looked at the floor. He was embarrassed to think he was so weak. He looked at Jethro to see the confusion on his face. He knew he was going to have to explain but he also knew Jethro would understand. "Tony, you are never too old to need your family. You are never too old to reach out to your dad or our grandpa. We are here for you, that's what this is all about. Family."

Jethro reached out and turned Tony to face him. He reached up and held his face in his hands. "Tony, son. I guess I have to say this again, I am proud of you son. I am proud to have you call me dad. I know in the bullpen we will have to refrain, be professional but…here when we talk to Tim and Ziva… I want you to call me dad. I want them to know that you and I are family. If they can't handle that…well, I'll deport Ziva and have Tim reassigned to the basement with cyber crimes. You and I will stick together no matter what."

Tony felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He was afraid he would have to hide who he was from them. He didn't want to hide anything any more. If they were ever to have a chance at becoming a team again then the lies would have to stop.

The rest of the morning was quiet. They sat, talked and relaxed. This was not going to break them apart. All thoughts of a walk were put aside. Tony didn't feel the need to escape. He felt the comfort of family was enough to still his thoughts.

****************NCIS****************

Abby and Ducky hoped the team would be able to get back together. They prepared to meet with Tony and Gibbs. Ducky was aware of the changing relationship between Gibbs and Anthony. He was happy for them. They had both been through so very much in their lives. They deserved to be happy.

Ziva, Tim, Abby and Ducky made their way to Jethro's cabin. They were subdued but hopeful.

****************NCIS****************

Tony was in his room when they arrived. He had been aware of Tim and Ziva's injuries. This would be the first time he would see them. He didn't know how he felt about them. They had made his life a living hell. Now was the time to confront them and see if they could move on.

****************NCIS****************

Jethro and Jackson escorted the team into the living room. Once they were seated, Jethro decided to call Tony. To set Tony at ease and to forewarn the group he decided to yell out for Tony. His yelling would not be that unusual but he knew this would set the pace for the meeting.

"Son! They're here." Gibbs looked around the room. His scowl left the team knowing they had best not question him.

As soon as Gibbs had yelled out, Abby was about to jump for joy. She was excited and happy for her friends. They needed each other. She turned to look to Ducky, she thought he would be just as happy. But what she saw was a knowing look on his face. Ducky knew and had not said anything. She couldn't blame him. He had protected his family. That was plain and simple. She understood that.

Tim and Ziva looked at each other. They were stunned. This would change things. They knew they would have to tread lightly.

****************NCIS****************

Gibbs met Tony in the doorway. He gave him a quick hug before turning to the group. Tony wasn't sure where to begin. He wanted to lay all his cards on the table but was curious what the team was thinking. "Do you think you could get this started for me?"

"Sure." Gibbs led Tony to the couch he had reserved for the two of them. Jackson positioned himself on the arm next to Tony. Flanking their boy, they put a united front towards the team. There would be no question where their loyalties lied.

Gibbs looked at the faces of his team. He had never been more proud and disappointed in them than he had been for the past few months. He felt responsible for many of the problems that had occurred. But he needed to put that to the side. He and Tony had worked that all out. Now it was time for them to accept responsibility for their actions.

"What has happened with this team is uncalled for. What you have done and what you have put Tony through is appalling. It stops now. If Tony feels he can continue to work with you then this team will move on. But, let me make this perfectly clear. This is his decision. He and I have mended our fences. You two have a lot higher mountain to climb."

No one said anything. Gibbs stared at the team. He was boiling with anger. He didn't realize how much anger he still harbored towards them for what they had done to Tony. After letting his words sink in for a couple of moments, he continued. "Tony is the most remarkable detective I have ever had the pleasure to work with. When I left…when I left, I knew he would take care of all of you. I knew he was more than capable of leading this team. His abilities to lead have never been a question in my mind." He looked to Tony and smiled. "He has co-lead this team since the first day we worked together all those years ago in Baltimore. He has always had my six and yours. I have been fortunate to have him be here for me and for you. I don't think either of you would have lasted a week with me without him there to protect you, to teach you and to keep me from firing you. But you never knew that did you. You were young, new and not ready for the field. You have learned a lot through the years but you still have much to learn. Neither of you are prepared to lead this team. But if Tony chooses to allow you to remain on this team, he will make sure you are ready."

Gibbs put his arm around his son. He wanted to give his strength to his boy. He wanted to protect him from all the evil in the world. He knew he couldn't but he could hold off this pain, this betrayal.

Tony was thankful for the strength his dad was giving him. The words had filled his heart with a strength to face this family. "Before I tell you what I am thinking, before I tell you where I think this is all going…I want to know what you think about what has happened. I want to know why you think this happened."

Tim didn't want to let this moment go. He wanted to get his friend back. He wanted to make amends. "Tony, for years you have teased me, picked on me, glued my fingers to my keyboard. I didn't understand what you were trying to do for me. However, you have made me a better investigator, a better person. I was petty, insecure and lashed out at you. I had forgotten all of those things you have done for me…I haven't now. I have been worried about you. I can't tell you the number of times I picked up the phone to call but didn't think you would answer. I…I want my friend back."

Tony had been taken aback by Tim's opening comment. He didn't realize how wrong Tim had taken his teasing. He felt bad about it. "Tim…I wish we had talked about it before, been more open about how we both felt. I never had a brother. I had frat brothers and that was how we had always treated each other. Then when I joined the force…I was always the new guy. Before I joined up with Gibbs, I had never spent more than 2 years anywhere. I don't know, maybe they would have treated me differently if I had stayed. When I came to NCIS, Gibbs was the only one that treated me different. Our other partners…the other teams…if they weren't teasing me…they weren't talking to me. They considered me an outsider. After a couple of years, they still teased me but they seemed to accept me. I never meant to cause you to feel bad. I thought that was just the way it was. I wanted you to be stronger and gain confidence…if you could stand up to me then I knew you would be able to stand up to anyone. I'm sorry Tim. I wish I could take it all back. I would like to try again. I want us to be friends as well as colleagues."

"Tony, if you didn't tease me I would think you didn't like me. I know you…I know what you are like. I don't want to change a thing. Well…maybe the McProbie…but other than that… I want us to be friends and do stuff together like…like when Kate was around. I miss that…the late night pizzas, the talks we used to have. We just don't do that anymore. I am sorry for what happened, do you think we can still work together. I know you have always had my six. Will you trust me to have yours?"

"I think we can. I never thought you did anything to be truly malicious. It was so out of character for you. If you can forgive me…how could I not forgive you?" Tony reached across the table and clasped hands with Tim. They would be able to work it out. Gibbs had no fear of that…Ziva was still a question mark.

****************NCIS****************

Ziva was concerned. She didn't have the history with the team that Tim had. She never understood him and how he could be on the team. She had always looked at him like a buffoon that was allowed to be on the team for comic relief. Since the accident and reading the reports from Tony's childhood, her opinion of Tony had changed. She thought she understood him better.

Her time at the camp had helped her as well. The first week was filled with kids that just wanted to be care for and cared about. Some of them had similar attributes as Tony. They acted up to get attention. They were starved for affection. She had been the only one there to provide it.

The second week was different. These kids had wanted attention but had acted out with destructive ways to get it. But when faced with tragedy and a life-threatening situation these kids had really come through for each other. The loss of life had been great. This child had wanted to be accepted and care for…now; she would never know what it was like to have a family, to have people care about her.

****************NCIS****************

Silence filled the room. Ziva seemed lost in her thoughts. Tony was becoming more and more uncomfortable. He didn't want to see the team destroyed. He had hoped they could work out their problems and move on. He wanted to trust her, the way he once had.

Without looking up or even recognizing that everyone was looking at her, Ziva began to talk. She had a lot to say but wasn't sure about the words. These people were very different from the ones she had grown up around. Her family… _maybe that's what I need to tell them._

"My family life was not much of a family. We were not taught to talk about our feelings. We were taught to be soldiers and to follow orders. I never saw my father hug my mother. My family never showed affection towards each other. My brother is dead…my father doesn't speak to me. My mother…This team is different. You talk…you hug…you care. You have confused me more than the others. Tim is sweet, innocent and wise when it comes to computers. It was my fault he went astray…Abby is easily excited, very intelligent, and loves you all. I didn't understand the depth of her love until recently. Ducky is stoic but cares for all of you."

She stood and began to pace the room. "But you Tony…I have never understood you. I thought I knew you…I thought I understood but I did not. You talk but never say anything about how you feel, what you think, or anything about your past, your family. I did not realize this was your family. I do not know if you will ever be able to trust me again. I do know if you want me to be a part of this team. I want the opportunity to show you that I have changed. I believe my time apart from you has given me the opportunity to learn more about what you do for us and given me a better appreciation for who you are." Looking into his eyes, she knew she had to tell him how she felt. "I want to be apart of this team. I want to have the opportunity to become a part of this family. I want to get to know you for who you

Everyone in the room sat silently. They were in shock to hear such heart felt words from Ziva. She had never been known as an emotional person. Cold hearted was the most likely term to be used for her. This was different. Tony knew something had changed her, but he wasn't sure what had caused the change.

****************NCIS****************

Tony sat contemplating what he had heard and what he had observed from Ziva. He knew there was more to it and before he would be willing to let it ride he needed to know what had caused the change. "Ziva, I appreciate the sentiment. But I don't know that I fully trust what you are saying. You have said so much in the past that it is hard to believe you have changed so much. What caused you to change?"

Ziva looked around the room. She could tell the others wanted to know as well. It was now or never for her. "Director Sheppard."

Those two words sent a chill up Tony and Jethro's spines. The atmosphere considerably cooled at this turn of events. Jethro was first to pounce on her, the vehemence in his voice left no one to wonder is feelings on this subject. "What about Sheppard? What does she have to do with this?"

"When we came back from suspension…Director Sheppard had me working on cold cases. She gave me one in particular that was curious. I was infuriated by what I read but did not know why I was reading it until the end. It was…it was a file on you, Tony. It gave me a better understanding of who you are… and why. You have not shared these things. You have kept it hidden. But the file hid nothing. I am sorry for how I have treated you. I respect what you have had to overcome to be where you are today."

Gibbs turned to Tony. Tony was pale, his breathing had increased. He did not know about a file on him. He couldn't understand why Sheppard would compile a file on him and then share it with Ziva of all people. He kept his past in the past. The thought of someone learning what he wanted to forget was disconcerting to him.

"Tony…you okay?"

"Why…why would she do that? What could she possibly know?" _So many things that could be in there but I can't imagine that the worse of it could have been found out._

"Clear the room. Stay near by but give us a few minutes. Ziva…we will be talking about this later."

****************NCIS****************

Tony could not believe what had just happened. He knew she hadn't meant to be cruel about it. But nothing from his childhood was pleasant. _Those_ people were anything but pleasant. They were cruel, bitter, uncaring…and that was the good parts he could remember.

"Tony, son…talk to me."

"I…I don't know what to say. That's sure wasn't what I was expecting. Why would Sheppard do that to me? If I wanted someone to know…I would have told you. But…this is not…this is not cool at all. I never would have shared that with them. I haven't even talked to you. I don't understand."

"Let's get Ziva in here and find out what she really knows. Then we will talk about where to go from here. What do you think?"

"Yeah, maybe it isn't as bad as what I am thinking. I hope…I don't believe she could really know that much. There wasn't much of a paper trail. I need to know what she knows. I need to know she isn't going to talk to the others about it. This should never have been taken out of my hands."

****************NCIS****************

Ziva was standing on the edge of the porch. She refused to stand near the others. She would not betray Tony by telling them what she had learned.

"Ziva, front and center." Jethro was not about to take this lightly.

She knew she had best comply without hesitation. Gibbs was angry. She didn't want to make matters worse. She entered the room and had a seat where instructed.

Gibbs paced the room for a few minutes while Tony tried to compose himself further. "Ziva, I want to know what you have read. I want you to be specific and tell us everything. Under no circumstances are you to share any of this information with anyone else unless Tony states that you can. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, you do." For the next twenty minutes, she told of what she had learned in the files. Tony was appalled at the amount of information she had obtained and furious with Sheppard for handing this information over without consulting him or Gibbs. Tony became more stoic as she continued. Gibbs listened, was shocked by some of what he heard and felt his anger building. When she finished telling what she had learned, she felt a need to explain what she had learned from the experience. "Tony, before reading that file I always thought of you as having grown up like all the other privileged Americans. Everything being handed to you and you being ungrateful for it. I never thought you understood what it meant to suffer. You are always the child, the playboy, the joker…you hide yourself from everyone including your friends. After reading your file, I understood why you do what you do. You try to keep people at a distance…you do not want to be hurt again. You want attention but don't care how you get it."

She took a moment to compose herself. "Anthony DiNozzo, you are an intelligent, caring, and gentlemen. You should not hide who you are from us, your friends. You did not deserve my disrespect. I can not apologize to you enough for how I have treated you. You were an efficient leader; I let my misconceptions of you change how I saw you. I have thought about this since you departed. I admit I was angry at first, thought it was unfair for me to be punished. But I know I was wrong. No matter what you decide here, I will not speak of this to anyone. I will not use this against you. I will not bring it up again. But, if you ever find yourself in need of someone to talk to…I would like you to know that I will be there for you."

Gibbs recovered quickly from hearing Ziva speak from her heart. He was glad to hear her say she was sorry and back up what she had said. He was still pissed as all get out about Sheppard but there was nothing he could do about that. He looked at Tony who sat quietly not saying a word. Tony wouldn't raise his head up or look anyone in the eyes. Gibbs was concerned this would be yet another set back.

"Ziva, while I do believe you are sorry and that you have had a change of heart…I have to say I despise the fact that it took you reading about my childhood to gain respect for me. How someone is raised or how much someone has suffered should not affect your ability to respect them. You never looked at what was beneath the surface. As an investigator, you need to always look past the surface and see into their souls. If you can't do that, you will never be affective. As a good investigator, you should have realized that there was more to me than met the eye. It's not as if I haven't ever said anything about my childhood. I just never choose to bring up the worse parts of it. I have tried to put it in the past. I wish I felt you could, but it's not in your nature. I hope we can work together…but I never want to hear another word about any of this again from you. If I choose to talk about it I will, but not by anyone's choosing other than my own. I can't condone what Sheppard did. She had no right to tell you about me. She had no right to break the confidence…she had no right."

"Tony, when we return to DC I'll take care of this situation. I'll make certain the file is destroyed. If she thinks she can manipulate you with it…she's got another thing commin'."

"Thanks dad." Tony felt tired. He wanted to talk to Gibbs without an audience. "Zee, can you leave us alone for awhile. Tell the others we'll talk to them later."

"Certainly." She made her way to the door but before leaving, she turned back to Tony. "I am glad to see you are feeling better. I have been concerned about you."

"Thanks. Tell everyone we'll meet here again tomorrow for breakfast at 9." Tony gave a small smile and a wave goodbye.

****************NCIS****************

Tony sat thinking for a few minutes before he started to talk to Gibbs. Jethro for his part was patiently waiting.

"Dad, what do you think? Do you believe them? Can I believe them?" He shook his head. "This has been tough in so many ways. It's hard for me to imagine…I want to…I want to believe that we can work together. I guess they only way I will really know is to give them the chance." He stopped and Gibbs thought he was finished but before he could say anything Tony continued. "I never meant to deceive any of you. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want anyone to know about my past. The past, my father, my mother, the rest of them…it's all one big painful memory. I don't know what Jenny has pulled together but I know this…she only scratched the surface. Maybe some day I'll talk to you about it but not today. I do want to know what Jenny knows. But then again maybe I don't. So what do you think?" Finally, he turned to look at his dad.

Gibbs walked over to Tony and held him in a tight embrace. "I don't care about your past. I don't want to know anything that you aren't comfortable with telling me. I know you don't have a dishonest bone in your body. You make me proud every day, in every way. I wish you had been my son from the start but you are mine now…in my heart. We will deal with all of this. You will be fine." He gave Tony a moment to absorb this before he continued. "If you are willing to give this a try I think we should. But if they pull their crap again…if they are disrespectful to you…if they try to hurt you…I will put at end to it. As for Jen…I will take care of that don't you worry."

****************NCIS****************

Tony sat at his desk thinking about all that had transpired. This weekend was father's day. He had never looked forward to it before but this year was different. It had been a long road; physically he was better than ever. He had worked hard and made certain he was in the best shape he could be.

Around the office, his outward appearance had not changed. He still goofed off but now the other team members understood him and joked back. There was more laughter from the MCRT section of the bullpen. There was a lighter heart about the people who worked in that section. None of the other teams could understand what had happened but they were happy for Gibbs unit.

Jen left the team alone. Her confrontation with Jethro Gibbs in full pappa bear mode had left her a little weak in the knees. She realized she had stepped over the bounds and though her thoughts were in the right place she was made to realize she screwed up. She apologized to Tony. He accepted and moved on. The files were destroyed.

Tim and Ziva had truly changed. They were much more respectful. They had a better understanding of who Tony was and why he did what he did. Now they were openly showing him more respect. In turn, they discovered they received more respect from the other teams.

Abby and Ducky were happy that Gibbs and Tony had finally created a family. They both had deserved it as far as they were concerned.

****************NCIS****************

Tony had been daydreaming for a while when he suddenly felt the hand hit him on the backside of his head. With a grin on his face, he turned to see Gibbs standing over him. "Sorry Boss. Just thinking about stuff."

"Think on your own time DiNozzo. Back to work now." Gibbs was happy to have his team back to where they were. He was happier to have Tony be a permanent part of his life. They had spent many hours together and with his father. Tony loved to visit his grandfather.

****************NCIS****************

Sunday morning arrived. Gibbs was still asleep when Tony arrived. He was excited to start the day off right. He made quick order of the kitchen, brewing a pot of coffee (or at least that's what Gibbs called it) and placed the donuts on a plate.

He had just finished placing everything on the table when Gibbs walked into the kitchen. "Didn't think I would see you so early Tony."

"Happy Father's Day, Dad. I wanted to surprise you."

Gibbs smiled. Tony had healed a part of his heart that he never thought could be healed. As he walked to the table, he noticed an envelope with his name on it. Tony smile and looked anxious as Gibbs picked it up.

The cover of the card was a boat on the water at sunrise. It read simply Happy Father's Day

Inside was a letter besides the traditional poem in the card. He slowly opened the letter and began to read it:

Dear Dad,

This is our first Father's Day together. For me it's the first one I ever really cared about. This may not be a traditional way of doing things but I'm not really sure what the rules are…I still need to learn. I just wanted to take a minute and say some things that have been on my mind lately.

I couldn't have survived this past year without you. You have given me strength, the ability to believe in my self and the family I have always wanted. You have given me unconditional love, even when I have messed up. You have always been there for me even before but now I understand I can talk to you about so much more, and I have.

I wanted to thank you. I wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, but I don't know where to start.

Dad, I love you. I love you more today than yesterday. I never realized what it meant to love a parent until you became my dad.

Love,

Your son

Tony

****************NCIS****************

The tears in his eyes made it almost impossible to read the last few lines. It had been a long year. He had known this was how Tony had felt but it was the first time he had put it into words. Tony's anxiety grew at the sight of the tears. He thought he had screwed up again.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Son, I love you too. You have been the greatest gift I ever could have received. Thank you for all you said. I'm glad you're my son."

THE END

**As I said at the beginning of the chapter. Thank you all for your reviews and for sticking around for the end. I hope you liked the ending. And for all of you who weren't happy with the Ziva portrayed - I hope you liked where I took her. **


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